Alright I'm in
Craigslist Musical Instruments For Sale
Location: Groupiesville USA
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FOR SALE- 2003 Gibson Explorer Pro and Marshall Wall Of Doom AKA your ticket on The Highway To Hell!!!
Tired of sitting around like the complete failure of a human being you have been, just banging away on that POS guitar you conned your parents into buying you for your 16th Birthday all these years later?
Sick to your bowels from not getting any attention from the fairer sex because you look like one of the rejects from Revenge of The Nerds as you plug into that T*rd lunchbox amplifier you keep under your dirty drawers in the closet, collecting dust? Well maybe just maybe you can finally get your act together and be somebody for once! How might you ask?!? Well, step into my office, junior!!
Here we have the finest axe your eyes has ever bared witnessed to, on this planet: a 2003 Gibson ( YES GIBSON!) Explorer Pro. "But my friends say Gibson is for real men: is this right for me?" Well Junior, for once, your idiot friends are right! This IS for men! Why? Because there is a guaranteed 99.9% chance that women will be impregnated being within 10ft of this killing machine!
Features
Hand forged from the very hallowed Cherry tree that President Abraham Lincoln cut down as a young boy, stained with ink of a mighty Colossal Squid, pickups wound hotter than Satan's colon and inlays ripped right from the fabled Pegasus' hooves. Just waiting, waiting for you to grow some clackers and wield this mighty weapon!
"But do I still have to plug it into my lunchbox T*rd amp?" Are you serious? I should beat you with a garden hose full of BBs just suggesting such a stupid idea! No my young friend, you're not getting a new amp.... YOU'RE GONNA NEED 2 FULL STACKS FOR THIS MONSTER! But ol Sandy Claus Mike has come bring gifts and has just the thing!
Here we have the absolute finest from that mad genius over in the land of Tea and Crumpets: Mr Jim Marshall himself! Strap yourself in cause we have a 1993 JCM900 SLX 2500 50w AND we have a 1998 JCM2000 DSL50 50w, packing with them 2 1960A Cabs. But that ain't enough juice still yet! To absolutely suck the souls out of any critics and to pull more tail than a fat man at a Shrimp Eating Contest, we have a 2004 Mode 4 with 2 MF400B Cabs at how many watts? 350w sunshine! Better call ahead to the local geological research lab because you'll no doubt cause a faultline in your city!
Now you're asking " How much will this cost?" Well, normally I'd ask for your first born, the deed to your house, your mom's jewelry and your wife but we gotta problem: I know you ain't married because no woman wants you yet because you don't have this setup do ya!?? Not to mention...I need some cash quick...some Better Business Bureau BS and IRS agents have been snooping around. So let's make a deal
Right now, the whole shebang?$ 4000.
I SHOULD ask you to throw in a bottle of Scope to wash the taste out of mouth since you just took advantage of me but I'll settle with a promise you will go forth and dominate this Earth.
SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY ( Feel I shouldnt have to tell you that!) And PS, that absolute specimen of manhood holding this axe in the last photo isn't included in the price, it's just to show you what kind of Conan The Barbarian-esque Super Stud this will turn you into!