Redo - Please critique hard ...

Sapient

Sapient

Ambassador of Vocal Inspiration
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Listening now…my first thought is of a 90s Ozzy ballad…the way you ramp into the stronger parts of the phrasing.
But nope…not as much on the higher parts as the strings come in and build…2:48 starts to struggle a bit, but it’s an improvement over past endeavors…not bad…just on the edge of disaster, but not actually disastrous. That was better than anything else I can remember hearing from you so far. The vocals sit in the mix pretty well too…well done there. Tasteful on the effects. That’s as mean as I’m willing to be with this one. The Ozzy vibe got me through the material choice, so another personal kudos for that…
 
Thatbastarddon said:
Listening now…my first thought is of a 90s Ozzy ballad…the way you ramp into the stronger parts of the phrasing.
But nope…not as much on the higher parts as the strings come in and build…2:48 starts to struggle a bit, but it’s an improvement over past endeavors…not bad…just on the edge of disaster, but not actually disastrous. That was better than anything else I can remember hearing from you so far. The vocals sit in the mix pretty well too…well done there. Tasteful on the effects. That’s as mean as I’m willing to be with this one. The Ozzy vibe got me through the material choice, so another personal kudos for that…
Click to expand...

Thanks brother. I just fell on the technique of pulling backwards and down with my voice. All of a sudden it clicked in to it actually kinda sounding like a singing voice, not a weird sound as I called it before. You probably know the backwards/down technique since I know you sing ...well. I always focused up so it was always thin and nasal ...very. Now I can get tons of body pulling down and actually mix the highs in the beef.

Yup, I struggled at that point you mention ... I'm adjusting to letting go into headvoice from chest there and it doesn't always happen so I kinda hit a wall.

:cheers:
 
Listening now….earbuds…
Nice. Seems a bit heavier on the delay in the beginning. Good. Ending has a weird spot…not bad, just different…the rhythm/cadence is throwing me, toward the ending, though. Overall, it seems like a really solid effort, an improvement too! Good job!
 
Sapient said:
If you guys wouldn't mind please listen to the one I added too. I may have hit this one ...for the most part??

@Thatbastarddon
@Ramo
@mcblink
@Mitch Pearrow SJMP
@Inspector #20
Click to expand...
Okay I listened to the second take.
Sounds pretty good, now how are you on original material ??
Can you get a feel for it ??
I have to find a decent recording of one of my older pieces, that I actually wrote some lyrics for. Don’t know if you can snag and work with a YouTube video or not. But I would love to hear what you would do with it.

Thanks
 
Thatbastarddon said:
Listening now…my first thought is of a 90s Ozzy ballad…the way you ramp into the stronger parts of the phrasing.
But nope…not as much on the higher parts as the strings come in and build…2:48 starts to struggle a bit, but it’s an improvement over past endeavors…not bad…just on the edge of disaster, but not actually disastrous. That was better than anything else I can remember hearing from you so far. The vocals sit in the mix pretty well too…well done there. Tasteful on the effects. That’s as mean as I’m willing to be with this one. The Ozzy vibe got me through the material choice, so another personal kudos for that…
Click to expand...
I agree. It’s was really good.
To nit pick.
I felt the intensity fell off a hair after the 2:30 mark.
Also, I don’t know if it was the speakers I was listening on. But there are times I hear too much hiss after a bunch of words that had an “S” sound.
But that could just be the speakers.

But that’s just really nit picking.
Otherwise, overall I thought it was excellent.

My 2 cents, for whatever that’s worth.

Sorry for getting in on this so late
 
Thatbastarddon said:
Listening now…my first thought is of a 90s Ozzy ballad…the way you ramp into the stronger parts of the phrasing.
But nope…not as much on the higher parts as the strings come in and build…2:48 starts to struggle a bit, but it’s an improvement over past endeavors…not bad…just on the edge of disaster, but not actually disastrous. That was better than anything else I can remember hearing from you so far. The vocals sit in the mix pretty well too…well done there. Tasteful on the effects. That’s as mean as I’m willing to be with this one. The Ozzy vibe got me through the material choice, so another personal kudos for that…
Click to expand...
Try harder lol

This take is better but….

1 towards the end its still gets bit mumbling

2 too much reverb/delay on vocals

3 sing me some god damn thrash, are you in lover or something singing this type of songs?


We will never know…..
 
Thatbastarddon said:
Listening now….earbuds…
Nice. Seems a bit heavier on the delay in the beginning. Good. Ending has a weird spot…not bad, just different…the rhythm/cadence is throwing me, toward the ending, though. Overall, it seems like a really solid effort, an improvement too! Good job!
Click to expand...
Yes, I should have mentioned there are a few f-ups. I wasn't going to a perfect take in that manner and I should have. Grr. The main difference is that was complete diaphragm push singing from me for the first time. I finally ...finally got that down. It's almost like I make no audio with my voice and le the diaphragmic push do it. You know, it's really strange but completely changes the game. Thanks for listening again, bro. :cheers:
Mitch Pearrow SJMP said:
Okay I listened to the second take.
Sounds pretty good, now how are you on original material ??
Can you get a feel for it ??
I have to find a decent recording of one of my older pieces, that I actually wrote some lyrics for. Don’t know if you can snag and work with a YouTube video or not. But I would love to hear what you would do with it.

Thanks
Click to expand...
Thanks Mitch! I will check that out. I don't know how we could possibly make a production out of it though without all the recording essentials involved.
LiveeviL2000 said:
I agree. It’s was really good.
To nit pick.
I felt the intensity fell off a hair after the 2:30 mark.
Also, I don’t know if it was the speakers I was listening on. But there are times I hear too much hiss after a bunch of words that had an “S” sound.
But that could just be the speakers.

But that’s just really nit picking.
Otherwise, overall I thought it was excellent.

My 2 cents, for whatever that’s worth.

Sorry for getting in on this so late
Click to expand...

Thanks 'evil. Yea, that part is shaky and is actually a failed retake. Lol. Voice kinda beat for that ending now. I'll listen for the S sound. Nit pick is what I want and what I got. Thanks! :dood:

Ramo said:
Try harder lol

This take is better but….

1 towards the end its still gets bit mumbling

2 too much reverb/delay on vocals

3 sing me some god damn thrash, are you in lover or something singing this type of songs?


We will never know…..
Click to expand...

Thanks bro. I don't know what brand of thrash you want. There are soooooo many scream, growl, yell types. High ..low ..real low ..real high. It's a confusing topic. Lol.
 
Sapient said:
Yes, I should have mentioned there are a few f-ups. I wasn't going to a perfect take in that manner and I should have. Grr. The main difference is that was complete diaphragm push singing from me for the first time. I finally ...finally got that down. It's almost like I make no audio with my voice and le the diaphragmic push do it. You know, it's really strange but completely changes the game. Thanks for listening again, bro. :cheers:

Thanks Mitch! I will check that out. I don't know how we could possibly make a production out of it though without all the recording essentials involved.


Thanks 'evil. Yea, that part is shaky and is actually a failed retake. Lol. Voice kinda beat for that ending now. I'll listen for the S sound. Nit pick is what I want and what I got. Thanks! :dood:



Thanks bro. I don't know what brand of thrash you want. There are soooooo many scream, growl, yell types. High ..low ..real low ..real high. It's a confusing topic. Lol.
Click to expand...
Yea I know, but it will keep you pushing, instead how I am just relaxing and with no push at all,, and regardless of the price on the recording stuff, I am in no position to purchase anything for now..
Thanks
 
Sapient said:
Yes, I should have mentioned there are a few f-ups. I wasn't going to a perfect take in that manner and I should have. Grr. The main difference is that was complete diaphragm push singing from me for the first time. I finally ...finally got that down. It's almost like I make no audio with my voice and le the diaphragmic push do it. You know, it's really strange but completely changes the game. Thanks for listening again, bro. :cheers:

Thanks Mitch! I will check that out. I don't know how we could possibly make a production out of it though without all the recording essentials involved.


Thanks 'evil. Yea, that part is shaky and is actually a failed retake. Lol. Voice kinda beat for that ending now. I'll listen for the S sound. Nit pick is what I want and what I got. Thanks! :dood:



Thanks bro. I don't know what brand of thrash you want. There are soooooo many scream, growl, yell types. High ..low ..real low ..real high. It's a confusing topic. Lol.
Click to expand...
Do Slayers Repentless cover or Metallicas Disposable Heros or Testaments DNR, Exodus’s worthless god… Take your pick lol

Now kill it!!!
 
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