Pretty funny

[iblive]

One can hope.

 

[iblive]

 

[iblive]

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror.......

I realized that I was going to get kicked out of IKEA.

 

[iblive]

I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
.
.
.

I got thesaurus throat I've ever had.

 

[Don O]

I went to the grocery store today and the cashier said my total was $327.44.

So i wanted a second opinion and went to the self checkout.

My new total was $44.88.

 

[4STICKS]

Speaking of thesaurus', I bought a new one yesterday, took it home and unwrapped it from the shrink wrap and found nothing but blank pages...I have no words to express my disappointment.

 

[WavMixer]

True story...

We once had dinner at a Chinese restaurant and when I opened my fortune cookie, there was nothing in it. No paper with a fortune, no lotto numbers, no translation from Chinese to English.

I found this to be very unfortunate. True story.

 

[Don O]

I changed the letter B in my Bucket List to a F and felt so much better.

 

[Ps. 37]

 

[Ps. 37]

I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.
.
.
.

I got thesaurus throat I've ever had.

Speaking of thesaurus', I bought a new one yesterday, took it home and unwrapped it from the shrink wrap and found nothing but blank pages...I have no words to express my disappointment.

 

[Don O]

Back in second grade we used to have a letter day exercise. The teacher says today’s letter is “N”.
Then she calls on me and says:
“Say a word that starts with the letter N which describes something you are not good at”.
I think for a moment and say:
“Spelling”.

 

[Don O]

How do you make seven an even number?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just remove the S.

 

[Ps. 37]

No matter how many times I watch this, I always laugh out loud:

 

[iblive]

Back in my day, we didn’t have urgent care. We had Mercurochrome, a Band-Aid, and a mom who said, ‘You’ll live.’
And somehow, we did.

 

[Don O]

Back in my day, we didn’t have urgent care. We had Mercurochrome, a Band-Aid, and a mom who said, ‘You’ll live.’
And somehow, we did.

And hydrogen peroxide.

 

[iblive]

And hydrogen peroxide.

Peroxide came later for me. When I was a youngun’ my mom must have had stock in mercurochrome. And pretty sure I remember her using a paint brush to apply…… ok. Not really

 

[eclecticsynergy]

 

[jtees4]

Back in my day, we didn’t have urgent care. We had Mercurochrome, a Band-Aid, and a mom who said, ‘You’ll live.’
And somehow, we did.

True....plus we had a Doctor who came to the house when I was a kid.

 

[iblive]

True....plus we had a Doctor who came to the house when I was a kid.

We didn’t have one of those.

 

[iblive]

One day you're 21 staying up until 5:00 AM, eating pizza and dancing like no one is watching.

Then suddenly you're in them 40s and 50s eating fiber and drinking Metamucil, going to bed at 8:00 PM and you can't dance because you pulled a muscle putting on your socks.