Old dudes are asleep...

iblive said:
Didn’t say that’s when in actually got woke up. Just when I got up. I had to pee at 2:30 and basically hadn’t gone back to sleep. Just ignored them that long.
Click to expand...
Ah, the beauties of turning into an old geezer...

I can take waking up to do a bathroom trip or five in the middle of the night and falling right back asleep, no problems. Not being able to go right back to sleep... that is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine!
 
Yargnad said:
Dangit....it never has had any issues since I signed up a year ago. ATT outage map says something's wrong affecting 1-25 people. Lame. Ive only got 12gb data and I'll burn that up in 15 mins :pound-hand:
Click to expand...
We should update the thread title to be: Old Dudes Get Unlimited Data. That's right. Verizon has an old dudes plan with unlimited data. I stream all the Sling and Netflix that I want through my phone when I am at the cabin.
 
Cadorman said:
We should update the thread title to be: Old Dudes Get Unlimited Data. That's right. Verizon has an old dudes plan with unlimited data. I stream all the Sling and Netflix that I want through my phone when I am at the cabin.
Click to expand...
Nope, you guys are asleep, remember?
I'm on Verizon unlimited also.....
I guess I should go take a nap
 
Cadorman said:
Let me clarify....
Once you hit 55, which I cannot drive, there is a plan that is much less expensive than any of the limited data plans which are inherently less expensive than the standard unlimited plans.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but my wife gets the employee discount. I'm willing to bet it's probably similar, but I'll ask her. Because now I'm curious lol
 
Yargnad said:
Do you just have someone bring it to you when you need it? Or do you poop in your utility closet?
Click to expand...
My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

"My what?"

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

"Wtf is a poop knife?"

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my molested up family with their molested up bowels. FML.

I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

She will be getting her own utility knife now.
 
Yargnad said:
Lololololol!!

:LOL::LOL::ROFLMAO::rolf::pound-hand::rolf::pound-hand:

Best story ever. My turds can easily be 2 ft long sometimes, no joke. I just use the toilet with the power flush and bidet. Usually handles it, but sometimes it needs assistance with my ass debris.

Big poos arr healthy, its a sign your :poo: is working right and not impacting inside your bowels. Keep it dooin it big dawg!!! :LOL:
Click to expand...
Definitely TMI.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top