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Chapter 18
Riff Raff
Congrats Rockstars, based on the success of your EP, that funky-ass video, the HOT summer tours, your amazingly dedicated fan support, that cool merch, and backstage notoriety which kept you in the news cycle, Legit Rekkerds was able to grab up an undisclosed offer for your contract from a Warner Music. They didn't tell you this, but word on the street is, Legit is glad to be rid of ya. You weren't in tears to split with them either.
Besides looks like you have a couple weeks off, a rare hole in your schedule.
Whatever shall you do with all that free time?
You’re not asking too many questions about it, because it got each of you a PILE of cash in matching badass alligator suitcases. Big bills, a lot of 'em like high six figures... just bundles and bundles of fun! Congrats! You’ve pretty much made it, but guess what? You're also mentally and physically exhausted from all that damn touring, hotels, road food, STD's, the odd paternity suit and lame ass promo-interviews. If all that wasn't enough of a PITA, Warner is already pressing for an ROI, and they don’t mess around. Legit promised them you and the boys could deliver that album inside six, maybe seven weeks, and that’s what got you your signing bonus. But the suits in the boardrooms want a hooky hit album that’s gonna move units. And, they want it pronto
Thus begins your task:
Part 1 Record us a NEW original one minute of riff chorus riff (music only, does not have to be a finished song) you are now wood-shedding on which will probably be the lead-off single on the upcoming full length album. However you want to choose to record it, but I suggest acoustic only, singer songwriter style if you can. And it better have hooks. You need a hit to keep the record execs off your back!
We are also gonna need to see at least one verse, one chorus of this new song. Handwritten please, 'cause that looks the best. It needs to be BIG, LOUD, and BRASH. A FULL-ON ARENA ROCKER. A CALL TO ACTION FOR YOUR (name of you band here) NATION OF HARD CORE WEIRDOIDS.
A FIST-THRUSTING FOOT STOMPER OF AN ANTHEM, ONE THAT MOVES AUDIENCES TO TEARS OF INSPIRATIONAL PSYCHOPATHIC JOY.
The "bigger" the words, the better. Not physically, you know what I mean. Thing BIG thoughts.
Don't forget your guitar plinking should be super weak, in inverse intensity to the words.
The goal here is to create the most massive inspiring lyrics, and juxtapose them against awful plinky tone.
But who needs tone if you got hooks, right? Still with the HOOKS. OK? This one is all about HOOKS
Part 2 Other than coming up with that badass music and lyrics, Tell us about some your holiday activities, maybe a pic or two.
Bonus points available:
+3 for best, most hookiest riffage
+2 for plinkiest, weakest tone
+2 for biggest, baddest lyrics to match
+2 for wildest holiday adventure.
You have Until Sunday Night. This is a Tone Rooms Tribal Vote, first in gets favour in a tie. The least number of votes will be cast out into the murky clouds of Would’ve Should’ve Could’ve land. I hear the gas bar is hiring, how are your squeegie skillz?
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