To make Irish Stew

[Col Mustard]

To make Irish Stew:


First, trespass on the Marquis' land and poach a deer. Careful and quiet, longbow work.
Field dress the deer beside the King’s High Way, then find old Iseult, the Crone o' the Crossroads & borrow her cauldron. Give her the antlers in return, and perhaps the tongue. Be sure to invite her to share in the stew. Take the cauldron and the cooking things and the deer to the center of the village. Bring also a large stone. Wash it well at the Millrace.
When people begin to stare, tell them you're making something for everyone, out of only a stone. Put the stone in the cauldron, bless it with water from Brigitte’s Well.


Boys will gather round by this time, curious. Send them for turves of dried peat to get the fire going. Ask if anyone's got a few praties left in the cupboards. …listen to the long silence... Start cutting up the deer... Trim the fat well, and save that off to the side. Someone will find a use for it. Give a haunch to the Widow O'Meary. Her son will be sure to help her get it home... And here's Katie O'Shaughnessie with her apron full of green onions. Her cousin Maireade offers a few turnips and a clove of garlic.


Now see… someone's found a sack of potatoes... don't ask from where. Here's Mother Sullivan with a bundle of carrots, cut them up and toss them in the cauldron. By this time the scent is drifting down the lane, there's a lot of smiling going on, and someone's brought a fiddle…. Father O’Malley comes out of the Rectory now, ask him to bless the endeavor, and stay for a bowl when it’s done.


Aye well... let it simmer now. Chloe the baker’s daughter offers a small bowl of flour to thicken the broth. Mough, the Miller’s son found some barley. Who's got a few herbs? Perhaps a bit of Marjoram and Sage? Give the deer hide to Padrigh Ryan, he's looking sulky. That cheers him up enough, he takes it home and brings back a small flask. Oh a taste of the pure!... pass it round then, just a sip for everyone. Now, let's have a tune.


attested to by Michael Hough

 

[DonP]

That was a mean thing to do. Now I'm drooling and I'll have to go and cook dinner early.

 

[eSGEe]

I thought you mixed 3 parts Whiskey and 7 parts Guinness ......till you got STEWED

 

[Alex_SG]

My mother is Irish, and her family make it the same way Dennis Leary does: Throw a whole lot of stuff in a pot, and cook it for 17 hours. It becomes so thin that you can drink it through a straw! Slurp! Thanks, ma!

 

[kevinpaul]

I grew up in Ireland that's way I sound funny. I taught Tia and her mother English and they sound really funny. Two Chinese women just off the boat and they sound like me sainted mom. The stuff we don't eat in Ireland that only Americans think we don't is in correct. Corned beef and Cabbage is one item I never saw any place. I guess someone there ate it but not so common as believed. Budweiser is probably the most popular beer now. Nasty tasting dark beer is only popular because it's local and cheap. Irish Harp is good but most the people can't afford. Pretty much like the beer bums here. Stew is common but no more than in America. Burgers were introduced by McDonald's and better places picked up on them. There is a long list of foods that just have not made it to the menu yet. I was back to dump the rest of my family's holdings and I couldn't buy a taco to save me soul.