The Days Turn Into Years:

[Inspector #20]

Just thinking this morning, about life and our all too short existence here on earth, and felt like jotting down my thoughts on the subject.

I'm up early everyday, but never set an alarm. My routine would drive many to tears I am quite certain. I make coffee around 4:30 and start running through the band's set list.

As daylight breaks, I toast a couple pieces of Dave's Killer Bread...lightly toasted, buttered with raw honey. I enjoy this toast over my kitchen sink, so I can watch the birds visiting the feeders in our backyard.

I post some here, play some more music, drink some more coffee, then head out to the freeways for another, unnerving daily commute.

When I get home, wife and I talk about our days, then I will usually watch something on TV with my daughter and wife. I really do not watch TV other than watching with them.

I cannot watch the news, or anything that portrays violence or inhumanity. I've just seen too much of it. Most of the time, we watch things like "Cars," or "Toy Story," or maybe a documentary.

After dinner, its back out into my studio to play, practice or maybe try writing something original.

Funny, as boring as this sounds, I feel amazingly happy and satisfied with my life. Every day I look forward to my day's challenges and my musical interactions.

I think back and wonder what I might have become had I finished high school, went on to college and got a degree.

I think, sometimes, that I might enjoy attending Musician's Institute in L.A. Heaven knows thst I have no musical education, so that might be a good thing to explore. Hmmmm...

But for now, I guess that I'm comfortable and happy, despite having no great accomplishments to share.

Some mornings, i just pick up the guitar and fiddle around with a melody or two, sometimes, creating nothing at all. Other times, I will record these noodling sessions and refer back to them layer, just to see what I was feeling at that moment in time.

Here is one such session...recorded one early morning on my Daughter's 2016 Squire Stratocaster.

May everything that you do be blessed with prosperity.

- Rob

https://soundcloud.com/id%3Drobert-h-herndon%252Fnatalies-guitar-impromptu-noodling-on-a-squire-stratocaster-with-tremolo%252Fs-eNpye%3Bsecret_token%3Ds-eNpye%3Btrack_id%3D688766716

 

[Kerry Brown]

As you age it is common to reflect on what could have been. I try not to do that too much. I would not be who I am if I had done things differently. I am happy. What else do you need from life?

Really like that noodling. It fit the mood of your post. I like music that sets a mood.

 

[BFT Gibson]

Very good !!

As we age..things we experience really form who we are & how we react shows our character. The last 5 days...funeral & watch the last of my Parents - their parents be laid to rest.
At this age 55..feel a strength as a man..a power to take care of the family..the parents aging & the children-- grandchildren. Become the the man they need to guide them all.

Its the best challenge ..i could ever be given & one with the most important future outcome compared to anything else i could ever do

My job takes me into the core of all the madness that is going on around us & what i am starting to do is, call it out as utter BS as man decides to impose on each other ..instead of simply walk away & agree to disagree.. and let each to their own

basically post an original song or 2 a week..i believe my experience in life is captured..without the music outlet to express,,,probably would be out there creating more chaos for no reason

I like you bring this up... run to it all & not from it & make music ..ton's of it,,, your blessed with an amazing talent...roll with it !!

 

[Inspector #20]

As you age it is common to reflect on what could have been. I try not to do that too much. I would not be who I am if I had done things differently. I am happy. What else do you need from life?

Really like that noodling. It fit the mood of your post. I like music that sets a mood.

I think I have been reflecting on what I could have been my entire life. I remember, standing on a stage at 15, performing in a dirty, cowboy honky-tonk for $125.00/week for 5 nights work, and it felt strangely natural to me. And yet, at the same time, i was wondering why I wasn't building models like other kids?? Why was I so different?? Why did everything I said come out awkward or wrong??? Why did I get picked on mercilously by other kids, just because I was different??? Why did my music teacher - Jerry Kuhlmann - bring me up in front of our school group - at Westfield School in 1974 - and tell me "You are wasting everyone's time here. You will never play the trumpet. Or any other instrument..."

Well, Jerry...you might have sold me just a little short on that prediction.

I wish that I could have "fit in" with the other kids. I have no fond memories of school. For me, it was like a prison. A place of torment. I had motor issues as a kid. I was notoriously clumsy. I stuttered and soon found myself in a special education class. I could not walk a balance beam. I could not pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time. Its was terrifying. This was a small little, single-room building on the school grounds, which still stands to this day. It was called "Retardoville," because some very gravely disabled kids went there for special education. Everytime you walked in and out of it, you were greeted by the chants of "Retardo" or something else that was just so deeply mean and hateful, that I did my best to close off my mind to it. The physical and speech therapy lasted throughout my elementary school years.

If someday, by chance, you should google "Westfield School, Porterville, California,"and chose "satellite" image, look across the school grounds to the southeast corner of the property. There you will find a dirt knoll at the edge of the grass, perhaps 6 feet high. It was upon this knoll that I spent my days, away from all the other kids. It is still there and you can see it if you choose "street view." This place of refuge was referred to by my peers as "Retardo Hill."

Today, we now understand that some of those personality disorders - like Aspberger's and other Autism Spectrum Disorders - have become more socially acceptable. I remember dropping my books one day in a school breezeway, only to have other kids kick them away from me every time I would reach for them. A teacher - Mr. Moore - walked out and chased the kids off, much to my relief....but then he looked at me sternly and said, "Why can't you just be normal like those kids???"

In that moment, it dawned on me that what he said - albeit harshly - was my escape. I began to watch the "normal kids" and how they walked..how they dressed. I learned that hitting my head with my hands when I became frightened or frustrated, brought me undue attention. I learned to mimic the "cool kids" in every last little detail. How they spoke, the terminology they used...It was profoundly exhausting.

I would do my homework between classes, or at lunchtime. When I got home, I would sit and force myself to try and learn the guitar. I remember vividly crying because my fingers would not move properly. I remember giving up and coming back again. I remember what Mr. Kuhlmann said and it filled me with a resolve to somehow become what he said i could not...if for no other reason but to spite him.

I would spend 12 to 15 hours a day forcing my fingers to hold chord shapes. I would rise early, help with chores and play guitar. Go to church, then come home and play guitar. get home from school, force myself to hold chord shapes, pick single string melodies along to records, read my Uncle's issue of 'Rolling Stone' and daydream about being able to play guitar someday.

High school was no better, just different. I had more and more free time and I used it to continue my forced practice sessions. I soon started playing bass in a neighbors mariachi band and performing opened a new door for me. It gave me something I had never before experienced - a chance to be seen as normal. After that, I did anything I could to play as much as possible. My practice sessions became more feverish. I began learning songs from records, I spent every moment with the guitar - an old 18 fret, 1959 Sears Silvetone.

By 15, my chops were decent enough to ask a local bar band to let me sit in with them. Back then, it wasn't like it is today. Everyone knew everyone. Rules were not really adhered too in these farming towns. The band allowed me to sit in for one number - Buck Owen's 'Streets of Bakersfield.' That turned into another song...and then a set...and then the invitation to come back tomorrow....within a week, I was a full-time member of the house band and was earning $125/week in cash, plus tips and booze. In this environment, I was accepted. Mom noticed a change in me. With a year, she allowed me to drop out. Music was now my full-time job. Mom found a speech therapist and tutor named Ms. Urrutia and she helped me greatly, but more improtantly, I had more time to play music. I would eventually return to Citrus Continuation School, for a few part time classes, then graduate from Adult School in 1984.

I'm not bitter about the experiences anymore, but I sometimes see people who write about how wonderful school was and how they couldn't wait for the reunion to meet up with old friends, and I just sit and wonder what that could be like.

I think this song would have been my anthem back then, had it of yet been written...

But today, I find this a more appropriate anthem....

Here's wishing you all the best...

- Rob

 

[Sp8ctre]

I think we all wonder about these things occasionally.

I wonder what life would have been like if I would have had a stable childhood with a Dad around instead of never knowing mine and having four step-dads.

I know if it weren't for my great-grandparents I would have been lost and I don't think I would be here now. They were the constant in my life and where
my greatest lessons were learned. The rock of our family if you will.

The USAF was the greatest decision I made in my teenage years and it really helped me grow and become responsible.

Next would be my wife. She has been another guiding light that has kept me grounded and focused.

And of course my two daughters. The lights of my life and the reason I've worked so hard to provide a very stable life for them that I never had.

You seem to be doing a great job Robert, don't dwell on what might have been...

 

[Kerry Brown]

I was very much an outsider during my school years. I was a loner, not by choice. I don’t have many fond memories of school. I don’t let that past define me. I acknowledge that it made me who I am today. I like who I am today so something good came from it. It sounds to me like you have transcended your past. Good for you. Don’t let your past define your future.

 

[Sp8ctre]

I think everyone has a tough time in school, especially as we enter our teen years. I was a punk, jeans, motorcycle boots, long hair. The kid that every parent
told their kids to stay away from. I had plenty of friends and I was popular enough. But I still felt like I wasn't at times. I struggled inside to find my way.

I was friends with people from every sub-group at school, jocks, preps, greasers, whatever. Now that we are all grown and we talk about those times I find
that people from every group, no matter how popular I thought they were struggled the same way I did. Almost everyone had self-doubt inside that they
hid away...

 

[Inspector #20]

I'm grateful to have my positive interactions with you guys...

 

[Ramo]

Just thinking this morning, about life and our all too short existence here on earth, and felt like jotting down my thoughts on the subject.

I'm up early everyday, but never set an alarm. My routine would drive many to tears I am quite certain. I make coffee around 4:30 and start running through the band's set list.

As daylight breaks, I toast a couple pieces of Dave's Killer Bread...lightly toasted, buttered with raw honey. I enjoy this toast over my kitchen sink, so I can watch the birds visiting the feeders in our backyard.

I post some here, play some more music, drink some more coffee, then head out to the freeways for another, unnerving daily commute.

When I get home, wife and I talk about our days, then I will usually watch something on TV with my daughter and wife. I really do not watch TV other than watching with them.

I cannot watch the news, or anything that portrays violence or inhumanity. I've just seen too much of it. Most of the time, we watch things like "Cars," or "Toy Story," or maybe a documentary.

After dinner, its back out into my studio to play, practice or maybe try writing something original.

Funny, as boring as this sounds, I feel amazingly happy and satisfied with my life. Every day I look forward to my day's challenges and my musical interactions.

I think back and wonder what I might have become had I finished high school, went on to college and got a degree.

I think, sometimes, that I might enjoy attending Musician's Institute in L.A. Heaven knows thst I have no musical education, so that might be a good thing to explore. Hmmmm...

But for now, I guess that I'm comfortable and happy, despite having no great accomplishments to share.

Some mornings, i just pick up the guitar and fiddle around with a melody or two, sometimes, creating nothing at all. Other times, I will record these noodling sessions and refer back to them layer, just to see what I was feeling at that moment in time.

Here is one such session...recorded one early morning on my Daughter's 2016 Squire Stratocaster.

May everything that you do be blessed with prosperity.

- Rob

https://soundcloud.com/id%3Drobert-h-herndon%252Fnatalies-guitar-impromptu-noodling-on-a-squire-stratocaster-with-tremolo%252Fs-eNpye%3Bsecret_token%3Ds-eNpye%3Btrack_id%3D688766716

fits the mood as i sit here and hear you play i reflect myself on my past life this tune makes me this playing has no lyrics but it speaks if that make seance ?

i want to hear more like this noodling...

 

[Inspector #20]

fits the mood as i sit here and hear you play i reflect myself on my past life this tune makes me this playing has no lyrics but it speaks if that make seance ?

i want to hear more like this noodling...

I am happy it reaches you. I seldom record these noodling sessions though...but its has a definite kind of feel...

 

[Inspector #20]

Westfield School looking east. The old Wishing Well (sealed up now) on the corner that kids would often throw my books into. I was thrown into it more than once by bullies...it was only about 3 or 4 feet deep, but it was humiliating...you had to spend the entire day wringing wet.

 

[Inspector #20]

My special ed classroom - called "Retardoville" by my schoolmates - is the small building with the metal roof. The small, walk-through door on the end of the building was the rear entrance. My teacher would let me slip out this door before the bell rang to avoid trouble.

There were no fences back them, and it was several miles ride by bike to reach the ranch, so a head start meant everything to me...

 

[Inspector #20]

In the lower, middle-right of this image, just right of the two pine trees, you can see part of the dirt knoll, emerging from the shade trees. There were no large shade trees in 1974. This was my refuge, known as "Retardo Hill."

Few kids would brave the heat - or rain - to come and pick on me there...

 

[ChasFred]

Robert, just a simple observation on my part.
You have skills and chops many of us envy indeed.
After reading the above post of your, I think this is the ground word for the next great Rock Opera that could rival TOMMY

 

[Inspector #20]

Robert, just a simple observation on my part.
You have skills and chops many of us envy indeed.
After reading the above post of your, I think this is the ground word for the next great Rock Opera that could rival TOMMY

Thank you kindly, @ChasFred - I play with so many people better than me. I'm just happy to be playing!!!!

 

[Astral Traveler]

Just thinking this morning, about life and our all too short existence here on earth, and felt like jotting down my thoughts on the subject.

I'm up early everyday, but never set an alarm. My routine would drive many to tears I am quite certain. I make coffee around 4:30 and start running through the band's set list.

As daylight breaks, I toast a couple pieces of Dave's Killer Bread...lightly toasted, buttered with raw honey. I enjoy this toast over my kitchen sink, so I can watch the birds visiting the feeders in our backyard.

I post some here, play some more music, drink some more coffee, then head out to the freeways for another, unnerving daily commute.

When I get home, wife and I talk about our days, then I will usually watch something on TV with my daughter and wife. I really do not watch TV other than watching with them.

I cannot watch the news, or anything that portrays violence or inhumanity. I've just seen too much of it. Most of the time, we watch things like "Cars," or "Toy Story," or maybe a documentary.

After dinner, its back out into my studio to play, practice or maybe try writing something original.

Funny, as boring as this sounds, I feel amazingly happy and satisfied with my life. Every day I look forward to my day's challenges and my musical interactions.

I think back and wonder what I might have become had I finished high school, went on to college and got a degree.

I think, sometimes, that I might enjoy attending Musician's Institute in L.A. Heaven knows thst I have no musical education, so that might be a good thing to explore. Hmmmm...

But for now, I guess that I'm comfortable and happy, despite having no great accomplishments to share.

Some mornings, i just pick up the guitar and fiddle around with a melody or two, sometimes, creating nothing at all. Other times, I will record these noodling sessions and refer back to them layer, just to see what I was feeling at that moment in time.

Here is one such session...recorded one early morning on my Daughter's 2016 Squire Stratocaster.

May everything that you do be blessed with prosperity.

- Rob

https://soundcloud.com/id%3Drobert-h-herndon%252Fnatalies-guitar-impromptu-noodling-on-a-squire-stratocaster-with-tremolo%252Fs-eNpye%3Bsecret_token%3Ds-eNpye%3Btrack_id%3D688766716

This sounds... Really nice actually!

About that other stuff, I know what that's like and I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I guess I was a bit odd and I was small, I didn't stop growing until a bit into my 20's. I was 5ft 11 and weighed 138lbs at 19 when I went into the Navy, 7 years later when I left I weighed 165, so at 13-15 I was bordering on tiny and a pretty good victim.

I spent most of middle school coming home bruised both on the inside and outside. Bruises from fists, boots, belts etc. I never backed down and always tried to fight back but you know, I was tiny. I guess it got better after someone cracked my little finger as I was trying to block a punch, the school management couldn't look away from the cast.

Highschool was another matter, I promised myself I'd never let anyone treat me like that again. I never got in any fights anymore but verbally I would respond with a nuke whenever someone tried to throw a stone at me.