Pretty funny

[iblive]

Here's one for @iblive :

"Most people are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician..."

Yep. Been there done that. It'd be why I primarily confine my repair jobs to cars and lawn mowers. Although, I have no problems swapping outlets... I do flip the breaker.

EDIT: As long as the electrical issue can be solved with a screw driver and hammer..... I'm good!!

 

[iblive]

Here's one for @iblive :

"Most people are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician..."

...... and yes, I know this is a Dad Joke..... but it reminded me of a real life deal.

Years ago I was standing at my parts counter and my peripheral caught a flash in the window between parts and service department. We'd been having some problems with our 3 Phase air compressor and the electrician traced the problem to the breaker box.... (I think he was checking the box since if my memory still works, there was 440 going into the box but not coming out.... compressor was fine) and was trying to gain access to the box. Lets just say, it was a good thing he was hanging on the the rubber handle since near as we can tell, the shank of the screwdriver grounded out. Screwdriver got hit by 440 volts and literally blew him across the floor five feet into the Time Clock. Had fire in the box we had to put out. He was fine. Was not hurt. Pretty sure he needed a clean pair of shorts though... and the store bought a new circuit breaker box. Something inside the box had obviously failed.

 

[iblive]

 

[Session 5]

 

[iblive]

This one's for you @LiveeviL2000 ....... enjoy.

 

[eclecticsynergy]

 

[bea]

Admittedly i am still alive...

 

[Far Rider]

 

[Ukoldgit]

A mental prisoner breaks out of the Asylum into to the prison laundry where two women were doing washing, the evil convict sexually assaults both women and then escapes over the wall.
The local papers headlines the next day - Nut Screws Washers and Bolts.

 

[Ukoldgit]

Man says to his wife as he's going to the door "grab your coat I'm going to the pub" wife says why are you taking me with you.
No says her husband I'm turning the heating off.


After a drunken night at the pub I was rudely awakened by my neighbour mowing his grass.
I turned over and thought, sod it, he can mow around me.

 

[iblive]

Were you aware on the Canary Islands there isn't one Canary.

And on the Virgin Islands?? Same thing. Not one Canary.

 

[iblive]

If I ever use there instead of their and your instead of you're in the same post..... I've been kidnapped and signaling for help.

Or you see me use prolly instead of probably.

 

[Far Rider]

 

[fitz]

If I ever use there instead of their and your instead of you're in the same post..... I've been kidnapped and signalling for help.

Or you see me use prolly instead of probably.

So, when we realize that your prolly kidnapped, it their a way to find you?
And what is happening when you spell signaling incorrectly?

 

[iblive]

So, when we realize that your prolly kidnapped, it their a way to find you?
And what is happening when you spell signaling incorrectly?

Uhm….. guess I shouldn’t trust spell check. Duh on my part.

 

[iblive]

Uhm….. guess I should trust spell check. Duh on my part.

So I wondered why spell check didn’t catch it. Even when I went back in to correct it….. so I looked it up. Technically, I wasn’t wrong. Just depends on what side of the pond.

Both "signaling" and "signalling" are correct spellings of the word, but "signaling" is the preferred spelling in American English, while "signalling" is the preferred spelling in British English.

 

[Ukoldgit]

WOOGAMUGLUMPH is always the answer to 1) across in the Times crossword when you've filled in all the down answers

 

[iblive]

“Calm down, shouty museum man. I think it’s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.”

 

[iblive]

Realized I had to use the bathroom.

Got up and walked across the house to the pantry.

Couldn't remember why I was in the pantry.

Remembered I had to use the bathroom.

Walked back across the house to the bathroom.

Sitting on the throne I remembered why I went to the pantry.......
.
.
.
.
Toilet Paper

 

[iblive]