Over the past few weeks, I have encountered some changes. First, was the loss of our online friend Kevin Paul Moore, followed by my 10 year old son deciding that he wanted to go and live with his biological Mother because my rules are more strict than he would like. In many ways, it has been difficult to walk by his room and not see him there, although his nasty disposition of late has not been missed in the least.
We are discovering that all of his recent bizarre, self-destructive behavior at school - getting kicked out of an after school program last week that took me a year and a half to get him into, physically attacking another student without provocation, failing to participate and follow any kind of order or direction, were all intentional acts, designed to accelerate reunification with his Mother. His ability to be nearly angelic when visiting the homes of friends demonstrates to me that, notwithstanding disorders such as ODD/ADHD, he is still making choices...bad ones.
Special programs, such as the IEP/504, that took me nearly two years of attending school board meetings and filing written petitions to secure, have become a wasted opportunity and one that would greatly benefit him. I have now endured four years of increasingly hostile behavior, angry outbursts, kicking holes in the walls, writing on the walls, theft from within our own home and from the school, verbal abuse, constant antagonism, almost monthly changing of psycho-therapies in an effort to get to the root of the matter, different medications and pushing for special school programs, only to discover that it's been more of a choice and a statement than anything else.
it's sad when you are so well known at the school (75 yards away) that you do not even need to show I.D. to get buzzed in the office anymore. Ironically, out of three sons - 31, 21 and 10, the youngest is the only one that has given us any trouble. we never had any issues with the two older boys of any kind.
Having said all of this, and simply venting to some extent, I am reminded that this struggle doesn't even register in comparison to what some people are going through.
My 53rd birthday passed on November 9th quietly and joyfully and I celebrated it with my wife and daughter Natalie, sitting outside at an Olive Garden, watching cars pass by and talking about the future. It gave me some time to reflect upon these things. The winds are gusting outside up over 50mph, so no time for a walk until they die down a bit, hopefully later on today.
I am most grateful to you fellows for your online friendship. I wanted to apologize for my manner of 'speaking' (herein) sometimes, which can come off in a conceited kind of way. Sometimes, in the excitement to share something interesting or useful, I can often come off quite snobbish and opinionated. In real life, I'm actually much more reserved, as i think Chas Fred will likely attest.
Some of my opinions, practices, methodology and preferences really have no useful purpose here.
All my life I have struggled with over-achievement, lofty dreams, a desire to do things differently and sometimes setting unreasonable goals for myself.
My humble apologies to those of you that I have offended and/or annoyed with my online mannerisms, especially @Thatbastarddon, @RobV, and @Col Mustard - as I know I have made their online forum interactions somewhat less than enjoyable at times.
Wishing all of you the very best...
We are discovering that all of his recent bizarre, self-destructive behavior at school - getting kicked out of an after school program last week that took me a year and a half to get him into, physically attacking another student without provocation, failing to participate and follow any kind of order or direction, were all intentional acts, designed to accelerate reunification with his Mother. His ability to be nearly angelic when visiting the homes of friends demonstrates to me that, notwithstanding disorders such as ODD/ADHD, he is still making choices...bad ones.
Special programs, such as the IEP/504, that took me nearly two years of attending school board meetings and filing written petitions to secure, have become a wasted opportunity and one that would greatly benefit him. I have now endured four years of increasingly hostile behavior, angry outbursts, kicking holes in the walls, writing on the walls, theft from within our own home and from the school, verbal abuse, constant antagonism, almost monthly changing of psycho-therapies in an effort to get to the root of the matter, different medications and pushing for special school programs, only to discover that it's been more of a choice and a statement than anything else.
it's sad when you are so well known at the school (75 yards away) that you do not even need to show I.D. to get buzzed in the office anymore. Ironically, out of three sons - 31, 21 and 10, the youngest is the only one that has given us any trouble. we never had any issues with the two older boys of any kind.
Having said all of this, and simply venting to some extent, I am reminded that this struggle doesn't even register in comparison to what some people are going through.
My 53rd birthday passed on November 9th quietly and joyfully and I celebrated it with my wife and daughter Natalie, sitting outside at an Olive Garden, watching cars pass by and talking about the future. It gave me some time to reflect upon these things. The winds are gusting outside up over 50mph, so no time for a walk until they die down a bit, hopefully later on today.
I am most grateful to you fellows for your online friendship. I wanted to apologize for my manner of 'speaking' (herein) sometimes, which can come off in a conceited kind of way. Sometimes, in the excitement to share something interesting or useful, I can often come off quite snobbish and opinionated. In real life, I'm actually much more reserved, as i think Chas Fred will likely attest.
Some of my opinions, practices, methodology and preferences really have no useful purpose here.
All my life I have struggled with over-achievement, lofty dreams, a desire to do things differently and sometimes setting unreasonable goals for myself.
My humble apologies to those of you that I have offended and/or annoyed with my online mannerisms, especially @Thatbastarddon, @RobV, and @Col Mustard - as I know I have made their online forum interactions somewhat less than enjoyable at times.
Wishing all of you the very best...
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