Happy Birthday, Randy Van Malmsteen

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Happy birthday, RVM... It is I, Yngwie J. Malmsteen, the one and only god of the Stratocaster, the neoclassical fury, fastest fingers this world has ever witnessed! Yes, I have heard of your... *adequate* lead playing. Not bad for a mortal. Some might even say you shred with a certain fire. But let us not fool ourselves on this day of your continued aging, my friend. No one outruns the Malmsteen lightning. Your fingers may dance, but mine summon the very spirits of Bach and Paganini while you merely... attempt. Still, I salute you for trying! Play on, challenger. Perhaps one day you will reach the shadow of my greatness and perhaps I may let you touch one of my many Ferraris, or provide you the time of day from one of my numerous solid gold Rolexes....
Until then, raise your guitar high and worship the riff! Long live me... (Still the King/GOAT).
 
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