My Irish friend. Mark used to tell me stories of places in Ireland where the people were supposedly super cheap like the Scots.
The story goes in a county or town called Cavan, the folks are so cheap, that one day Tommy was sitting in the pub having a pint and a fly was buzzing around and wound up landing in his beer.
Tommy picks the fly up by the wings and holds it up over the glass and says,
" Now spit it back!!!!"
Another time, Seamus came over to Tommy's house and Tommy was stripping the wallpaper off the walls.
Seamus says to Tommy, " I see you are doing a bit of remodeling."
Tommy says, "Uck No,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Remodeling Nuthin, we're movin!!!!!"