Don't Mess With Old Folks

[WavMixer]

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.

The old lady wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.

The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have $1,300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?

The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. “Well please let me have $3000 now.” The teller kindly handed $3000 very friendly and with a smile to her.

The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2,990 back into her account.

The moral of this story is....
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

 

[chilipeppermaniac]

OK Wav U did it.

Don't mess with a carpenter after a day of snow, rain, sleet and refreezing. BFT will tell you about the storm.

A little old lady pulls up to the Chase Manhattan bank in downtown Manhattan NYC, goes inside and asks to see the manager.
She asks him if she could take out a $10000 loan to be paid back in a week's time. The manager asks her what she has for collateral, so she points out to the curb at her Rolls Royce. At that, he has the papers drawn up, tells his staff to go ahead and park the car in their parking garage, and gets her her money. They bid each other adieu.

She returns one week later to repay her loan and interest to retrieve her car. As the manager got ready to hand her the keys, he tells her that after he made her the loan, he was curious and did some checking on her. He said he saw she had plenty of assets and cash and just had to ask, why she had come to him specifically to take out that $10000 loan.

At hearing this, she tells him, " Where else could I get such a safe and secure parking place for my Rolls Royce in NYC for a week and it only cost me $5?"

 

[chilipeppermaniac]

THE BANKER'S BALLS


A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because "it’s a lot of money." After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office. The bank president then asked how much she would like to deposit.


She replied, "$165,000.00." and dumped the cash out of her bag on to his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she had come by all this cash, so he asked her, " Ma’am, I’m surprised you’re carrying so much cash around, Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, " I make bets." He then asked, " Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, " well for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha", laughed the president, " that’s a stupid bet. You could never win that kind of bet."


The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square."The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is so much money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?" "Sure" replied the president. That night, he became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror checking his balls, turning form side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.


The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. She introduced the lawyer and repeated the bet. "$25,000 says the president’s balls are square." The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."


Just then he noticed the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 am today, I’d have the bank of Canada’s president’s balls in my hand.

 

[Beagle]

 

[eSGEe]

 

[Don O]

 

[flatrockmobile]