CHATBOTS!!

Seamus OReally

Seamus OReally

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I just spent over an hour navigating the goddurn mommaheppin’ chatbots that answer the phone at LG and Home Depot. They don’t parse English properly, they ask the same damn question four times in a row and finally suggest a solution from the FAQ that doesn’t relate to your problem at all.

Worse yet, at two points I got to chat with a human, which was pointless because the humans didn’t know anything that the bots didn’t know. The most infuriating convos in recent memory…

Finally, a hip woman got on the phone line for Home Depot, and SHE called LG and got a technician coming on Monday. She’s my hero!

Not 20 minutes later, I get a survey in the mail from GrubHub, wanting to know, essentially, how I would feel about them maybe turning their customer service over to chatbots.
 
You used to be able to poke the number 0 like 100 times real fast to get a human. That doesn’t seem to work anymore.
 
When I arrived home from Italy yesterday, I wanted to get my fingerprints and retina scans done for CLEAR, or TSA Precheck or whatever they're calling it now. Wasn't thrilled about the eye scans and dystopian stuff, but if I don't have to deal with as many of the great unwashed at the airport, what the heck, Especially if the wife's company is paying for it. I tried using the official link from the email and got a chatbot to help me.

My question was: "Where in Terminal E at BOS, Logan Airport do I update my info and fingerprint?"

I was given a list of generic help options. None of which were what I was looking for.

I asked my question again, and was given the list of options.

I gave up and texted in response "You are F*cking Useless!"

Walked over to the Global Entry office to find out TSA is only in the domestic terminals, not the international terminal.

Off to Terminal A I went after dropping off bags at the car.

It does not matter which department of TSA you are dealing with at any time. They are all the lowest life forms that can possibly be found to work that job, and none of them can speak off of a script or complete a sentence without the help from a minimum of three coworkers.
 
Last edited:
SG John said:
When I arrived home from Italy yesterday, I wanted to get my fingerprints and retina scans done for CLEAR, or TSA Precheck or whatever they're calling it now. Wasn't thriller about the eye scans and dystopian stuff, but if I don't have to deal with as many of the great unwashed at the airport, what the heck, Especially if the wife's company is paying for it. I tried using the official link from the email and got a chatbot to help me.

My question was: "Where in Terminal E at BOS, Logan Airport do I update my info and fingerprint?"

I was given a list of generic help options. None of which were what I was looking for.

I asked my question again, and was given the list of options.

I gave up and texted in response "You are F*cking Useless!"

Walked over to the Global Entry office to find out TSA is only in the domestic terminals, not the international terminal.

Off to Terminal A I went after dropping off bags at the car.

It does not matter which department of TSA you are dealing with at any time. They are all the lowest life forms that can possibly be found to work that job, and none of them can speak off of a script or complete a sentence without a minimum of three
Click to expand...

Our experience departing Vancouver this year:

Where are you going?
TEXAS!
Where in Texas?
HOUSTON!
Why?
I LIVE THERE.
Hmmmm.

We checked all of our bags with the exception of my work laptop and joined the very long security line.

Less than 5 minutes later, a very nice and polite lady came by and asked if that was all we were going to carry on the plane. When we replied yes, she said, no worries come with me.

She took us to a side table and I had to dump the laptop bag and explain everything - like why I had a highlighter, etc.

Managed to skip the rest of the line when she was done with me but found inspection tags in every checked bag when we unpacked.

Nice easy flight.
 
Seamus OReally said:
I just spent over an hour navigating the goddurn mommaheppin’ chatbots that answer the phone at LG and Home Depot. They don’t parse English properly, they ask the same damn question four times in a row and finally suggest a solution from the FAQ that doesn’t relate to your problem at all.

Worse yet, at two points I got to chat with a human, which was pointless because the humans didn’t know anything that the bots didn’t know. The most infuriating convos in recent memory…

Finally, a hip woman got on the phone line for Home Depot, and SHE called LG and got a technician coming on Monday. She’s my hero!

Not 20 minutes later, I get a survey in the mail from GrubHub, wanting to know, essentially, how I would feel about them maybe turning their customer service over to chatbots.
Click to expand...

I had a similar experience with Samsung and Best Buy. Best Buy was fine, but he explained there was little he could do and gave me the contact info to Samsung. I work in the AV industry and knew this was about to be a whole new dimension of frustration. I had already done all the checks they suggested before I even made my first call - including making sure the firmware was current. When they said they would send me a new remote, I knew that was not the issue. So, I simply said "That's not the problem. I realize the people who are telling you this are probably going off a script and this is the first thing in the list. But, when I get the new remote and it doesn't fix the problem, what number do I call then, and what ticket number do I reference?"

Well, eventually I did get a real, live Samsung tech to my home...several times. He pretty much replaced every thing replaceable in the TV (over several visits because each replacement has to be approved by Samsung) and it still didn't fix the problem.

The technician, himself, was good. I have no complaints about him, at all. He did his job well, he did know his stuff, and he was polite. But, he was hamstrung by the same bureaucracy and I could tell it frustrated him, too. Eventually, Samsung did replace the TV (actually, gave me store credit at Best Buy), so it did work out in the end, but it was a "fun" few months.
 
I may have worked behind a parts counter for 40 years…. But a large part of my job was customer service. So I pretty much have no patience for poor CS.
 
Seamus OReally said:
That kind of “customer service” drives me to raving distraction. Millions for marketing, dollars for CS.
Click to expand...


Now I just go to Better Business Bureau and file a complaint.

One of the few ways to bypass chatbots, and actually find customer service.
Don't even bother with the chatbot run around, skip it all together. Go straight to BBB.

I actually tell these people
"customer service is dysfunctional." But they don't care and they won't fix it. They never will.
 
I have a issue with the TSA been striped searched and they have destroyed my test equipment guess that what happens
when you hire people with a IQ less than room temperature.
 
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