Dear God, It greaves me to have to complain but I really must let you know that I shall be returning this body and spirit due to several mecanical, mental and medical failures, I trust you will understand that I do not usually resort to this action unless severely broken in bones or brain or maybe medically deceased.
I look foreward to our upcoming meeting and suggest you owe me a couple of pint's at least for being an almost perfick hoomun bean.
Note to Postman - you may have to redirect this letter to the big red post box with the horns on.