Some of you may have already seen my post indicating I am leaving the band I've been in for the last couple of years. (Another Gig)
Believe it or not, I actually Googled, "How to quit a band," before offering up my resignation!
Anyway, here is how I handled/am handling it:
1. Think about it and give it time! Yes, before actually saying anything, from the time you first feel like you need to leave, give it time. Continue to practice with the group and play a few more gigs just to be sure you really want to leave and that you're not just having some passing thought.
2. Don't let your decision fester. Once you are sure you want to leave, don't sit and stew on it. It will only affect your attitude in the band. Communicate your decision as soon as possible after you are 100% sure you want to leave.
3. Don't leave in a lurch! Before you say anything to the group, determine how long you are willing to remain on board until a replacement can be found. In my case, I decided I was willing to remain on board for up to three months to give them time to find a replacement. This alone will avoid a LOT of animosity. This was the single biggest appreciative comment I received from the rest of the band - that I wasn't just leaving suddenly.
4. Privately communicate your intentions to the band leader first. You don't want to just spring your resignation on the band. Tell the band leader first what you intend to do. Also, tell the band leader of your intention to stay on for whatever time you decided while a replacement is found and brought up to speed.
5. Your band leader may wish to inform the rest of the band before you do. Respect that. That's how it worked for me. I told the band leader. She told the rest of the band via text. Then, at the next practice, I explained the situation to the rest of the band.
6. Don't burn bridges. When you do inform the band leader and band of your intentions, if at all possible, keep it amicable. Don't gripe about things you don't like. In my case, I didn't really have any gripes; my heart was just moving in a different direction and I didn't "feel it" anymore. Try to remain friendly. Don't go off on some tirade. You never know if you may need these same people some day to put in a good word for you! Word travels fast in the local musical community; you don't want to be known as a jerk.
7. Throughout the remainder of your time, play with as much energy as you would otherwise. Don't suddenly become a bump on a log. Keep practicing the material for the band until you are finally out. Stay professional.
Believe it or not, I actually Googled, "How to quit a band," before offering up my resignation!
Anyway, here is how I handled/am handling it:
1. Think about it and give it time! Yes, before actually saying anything, from the time you first feel like you need to leave, give it time. Continue to practice with the group and play a few more gigs just to be sure you really want to leave and that you're not just having some passing thought.
2. Don't let your decision fester. Once you are sure you want to leave, don't sit and stew on it. It will only affect your attitude in the band. Communicate your decision as soon as possible after you are 100% sure you want to leave.
3. Don't leave in a lurch! Before you say anything to the group, determine how long you are willing to remain on board until a replacement can be found. In my case, I decided I was willing to remain on board for up to three months to give them time to find a replacement. This alone will avoid a LOT of animosity. This was the single biggest appreciative comment I received from the rest of the band - that I wasn't just leaving suddenly.
4. Privately communicate your intentions to the band leader first. You don't want to just spring your resignation on the band. Tell the band leader first what you intend to do. Also, tell the band leader of your intention to stay on for whatever time you decided while a replacement is found and brought up to speed.
5. Your band leader may wish to inform the rest of the band before you do. Respect that. That's how it worked for me. I told the band leader. She told the rest of the band via text. Then, at the next practice, I explained the situation to the rest of the band.
6. Don't burn bridges. When you do inform the band leader and band of your intentions, if at all possible, keep it amicable. Don't gripe about things you don't like. In my case, I didn't really have any gripes; my heart was just moving in a different direction and I didn't "feel it" anymore. Try to remain friendly. Don't go off on some tirade. You never know if you may need these same people some day to put in a good word for you! Word travels fast in the local musical community; you don't want to be known as a jerk.
7. Throughout the remainder of your time, play with as much energy as you would otherwise. Don't suddenly become a bump on a log. Keep practicing the material for the band until you are finally out. Stay professional.
Last edited:
