Don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it

Clockworkmike

Clockworkmike

Ambassador of STACKS in WV SHACKS
Country flag
I know I haven't been around much lately, I don't have any excuses for it really. But, I wanted to come clear somewhat with everything that has been going on and where I go in from here.

I don't normally air everything going on in my life, other than something random I might've felt like sharing at that particular moment. I typically intentionally leave a lot of details out because while I consider you all an extended family, I also don't like bogging people down with my bull$hit. If something is going wrong? I'm the kind of person who just cracks a joke and changes the subject because it's always easier that way. I've always felt that laughing and goofing off is an easier way to mask bigger problems, so that's what I prefer to do.

But lately, $hit has just gotten way outta hand in my personal life, to put it in it's simplest terms. It's too long of a story, too much unnecessary drama and too much bull$hit in general to drag anyone down with by sitting and crying about it like some needy, attention seeking ass clown we see and hear about everyday on any social media. That ain't me and that's not how I do things. But at the same time, it's become harder to smile and cut up with my typical goofy nonsense. So, I've just kinda....withdrawn I guess is the word you'd use?

I haven't had any desire whatsoever to even pick up a guitar, let alone play SOMETHING. I've tried to force myself to play and it's like it doesn't even work anymore; that I've unlearned everything I've struggled so many years just to even half-ass my way thru it. So because of that, I guess I feel like a fraud/poseur hanging around, talking about guitar related stuff in general when it's something that I'm secretively not even touching. And because of that? I've just stayed away from here.

I know that isn't right. I know that is pretty $hitty, especially considering the fact I actually LIKE all of you guys. It's $hitty to just shut people out and avoid them, but I also feel it's $hitty to bring them down. I'm trying to fix a lot of things but, for everything I try to improve, it just seems like 3 other things come forward and push any progress backwards. But I'm still trying because I don't dig ANY of this and I know it's gotta get better, SOMETIME. But I just wanted to say that I'm not intentionally ignoring anyone, nor am I ghosting this place. Just a lot going on.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being around, I'm sorry for not talking and I'm just sorry overall. Just trying to get things back in order
 
Take care of yourself buddy. Sometimes "you" comes first. Else the rest just doesn't line up. I'm not a therapist by any means, but keeping things all bottled up for too long can come around ugly. Be careful and like I said before, take care of #1.

All the best bud
 
Clockworkmike said:
I know I haven't been around much lately, I don't have any excuses for it really. But, I wanted to come clear somewhat with everything that has been going on and where I go in from here.

I don't normally air everything going on in my life, other than something random I might've felt like sharing at that particular moment. I typically intentionally leave a lot of details out because while I consider you all an extended family, I also don't like bogging people down with my bull$hit. If something is going wrong? I'm the kind of person who just cracks a joke and changes the subject because it's always easier that way. I've always felt that laughing and goofing off is an easier way to mask bigger problems, so that's what I prefer to do.

But lately, $hit has just gotten way outta hand in my personal life, to put it in it's simplest terms. It's too long of a story, too much unnecessary drama and too much bull$hit in general to drag anyone down with by sitting and crying about it like some needy, attention seeking ass clown we see and hear about everyday on any social media. That ain't me and that's not how I do things. But at the same time, it's become harder to smile and cut up with my typical goofy nonsense. So, I've just kinda....withdrawn I guess is the word you'd use?

I haven't had any desire whatsoever to even pick up a guitar, let alone play SOMETHING. I've tried to force myself to play and it's like it doesn't even work anymore; that I've unlearned everything I've struggled so many years just to even half-ass my way thru it. So because of that, I guess I feel like a fraud/poseur hanging around, talking about guitar related stuff in general when it's something that I'm secretively not even touching. And because of that? I've just stayed away from here.

I know that isn't right. I know that is pretty $hitty, especially considering the fact I actually LIKE all of you guys. It's $hitty to just shut people out and avoid them, but I also feel it's $hitty to bring them down. I'm trying to fix a lot of things but, for everything I try to improve, it just seems like 3 other things come forward and push any progress backwards. But I'm still trying because I don't dig ANY of this and I know it's gotta get better, SOMETIME. But I just wanted to say that I'm not intentionally ignoring anyone, nor am I ghosting this place. Just a lot going on.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being around, I'm sorry for not talking and I'm just sorry overall. Just trying to get things back in order
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No apologies necessary Mike. I think everyone's thinks you are like family so no worries. I hope you find your way. If you need to talk you can message me.
I would have some shocking news but like you I don't do pitty parties either.
 
You gotta do what gotta do my friend. If you want to air out over here at TTR, that's fine. If you want to dull the pain by not discussing it, and then pretend everything is fine, then that's good too. You have my support no matter what. You're a good guy, and I hope the best for you... :cheers:
 
No Apologies Needed!!!

There are things happening to folks, and it really sux when it's a couple of things or even more than that.
Some times, maybe way more than another person can fathom, 1 thing can completely eat us up from the inside.

I Pray you find a Trusted Friend or a Trusted Outlet that you can completely unload to,
and whomever it is, you can talk things through. It may take a while, so just keep.in mind, sometimes there's no quick remedy.
A Trusted Ear that is willing to Honesty Listen, might begin to tear down the wall, or open the dam.
 
Hope everything goes well for you, Mike. Been wondering where you've been. I wouldn't worry about picking up the guitar and playing as self justification for hangin' out here. I rarely ever play and I think it's know that really don't. Maybe it's just getting old to you as life changes. Happened to me. Again, hope all goes well and things sort out for you.
 
Hang in there Mike. Getting things sorted out is the priority. We’re here to lean on if needed. None of us get out of here without having to deal with “stuff” at some point. So believe me when I say, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there.
 
@Clockworkmike …I hope that you know that many of us feelz that we are like family here…If you need to work something out, well then…do what you’ve gotta do. We’ll be here when you’re ready for the next bit that you wanna share with us. Until then…I/we wish/hope the best to you on your journeys…stop in from time to time…keep us updated n such…please.
 
Mike, I am in a similar situation as far as stupid stuff going on in my life and huge changes. I also have not been here much in the last couple of years, but I am trying to get back. I'm still playing, but not the 2-3 hours a day I was a few years ago. It will come back. Everything will get better and reveal a new direction that you haven't even thought about. Peace, Chris
 
I don't know how to explain it, but perseverance will find the"you" You guys know my stupid situation & 3 years later still picking the pieces up

The mistake i did make..was putting the guitar down for 2 years ... no outlet for release..i dont drink..was drinking... had i not dedicated to massive cross training not sure where i would be..the ..faith..yes it remained but..dark..its all i know how to explain it when everything you know...work for..care about is taken from you against your will...

coming out the other side..is a better Father-Boss- -grandad-and seeing what priorities matter .. i wish you courage to face it.. find your ground of your conviction & stand on it. Life has a way of dealing brutal wake up calls at times .. try not to let anger dictate things..that was my bad.. couple cars to take apart & weights & running pulled me through.
 
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