TTR Game of Toanz

Chapter 5: The Holy Grail Saga or Down and Out In The Hard Filthy Streets of West Virginia

So a couple weeks ago, I was yelling at the Tweakers Next Door to clean up their cesspool of a yard when the "lady of the house" came out, looking like an extra from a George A Romero Zombie flick. She threw this weird bag in my face that exploded and I stumbled back inside, with the sudden urge to sell my beloved Gibson Explorer and Marshall Wall of Doom on Craigslist.....the horror....the horror.

Guess it must've been some fine grade bathtub crank, because I ran the rig for a paltry $4000 and this yuppie scumbag in pastel shorts came by my house in less than an hour after posting. Being a man of my word, despite being under the influence, I reluctantly agreed to the sale. But having pity on me for being such a sissy for not asking more for it but clearly noticing I wasn't in my right state of mind, he DID toss in an extra $1000 from his trustfund, so I made $5000 on this deal: far from what it was worth, BUT! It did provide me with enough capital to begin rebuilding my empire to absolutely RULE this planet...I mean did you all see that video of me in a Stankwater Music Store just shredding the hell out of those tasty riffs? Oh yeah you did! Hope you all were paying attention and learned something from a genuine superstud!!

Anyways, I got my head right from Michelle The Tweaker From Hell's crank attack and decided since Stankwater banned me from their shop for just humbling them with such prowess, that MAYBE I should check out some gear online and get my act together.

First order of business? Needed to get some fine Milton Keynes power back in this house from the wizard Jim himself! Found this nice 1980 Marshall JMP 2203 to blow the balls off a charging Rhino at 40 paces

Price tag with shipping: $2375
reverb.com

Marshall JMP 2203 Mk2 Master Model Lead 100-Watt Guitar Amp Head 1975 - 1981 | Reverb

Reverb is a marketplace bringing together a wide-spanning community to buy, sell, and discuss all things music gear.
reverb.com reverb.com

But what good is an amp if you got nothing to move some air from? So next, had to score a cabinet. Since that pastel wearing fruitloop snagged all my cabs in the deal, I had to find one and luck would have it, scored another 1960A cab like before! Though this one wasn't as loved as mine were because the guy clearly didn't know the power he was wielding and beat it up some. No matter, no time to worry for cosmetics: I have a mission!

Price tag with shipping: $700
reverb.com

Marshall 1960A Lead 300-Watt 4x12" Angled Guitar Speaker Cabinet | Reverb

The Marshall 1960A 300-Watt Angled guitar cabinet is the best-selling 4x12 cabinet ever made, and for good reason. These iconic cabs can be seen and heard on nearly every major tour, every mid-sized club, and every single recording studio with a backline.
reverb.com reverb.com


So now we had the thunder, but I needed an axe. My poor sweet, sweet Explorer was now in the hands of that dweeb and I was grinding my teeth to nubs thinking of him trying to harness such a mighty beast with those dainty fingers. Being a generational talent and sex icon of this age, I knew I needed a Gibson and nothing else would do. But that Marshall cut my funds down a bit, so I found a Gibson Les Paul Studio that would fare me well enough to soldier on!

Price tag with shipping: $915
reverb.com

Gibson Les Paul Studio Satin 2012 - 2015 | Reverb

Part of the full mahogany body Les Paul Studio series - the Studio Satin line uses a Baked Maple Fretboard and Burstbucker Pro pickups Previously known as the Les Paul Studio Faded Series from 2010 - 2011 Available in a wider variety of finishes than previous iterations of the all-mahogany bo...
reverb.com reverb.com

Due to size of my meaty, Conan-esque hands a man like me needs some good strings for the Les Paul. So nothing but the best! 5-pk of Ernie Ball Paradigm 10-52s
Price tag with shipping: $64.20
www.ebay.com

5-PACK Ernie Ball 2015 Skinny Top Heavy Bottom Slinky Paradigm Guitar Strings | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for 5-PACK Ernie Ball 2015 Skinny Top Heavy Bottom Slinky Paradigm Guitar Strings at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com

So now I had key essentials but I wasn't gonna settle for compromise: I was out for blood. The Marshall has enough cajones to impregnate the Eastern Seaboard but a lil help never hurts. So what did we do next? Got a Legendary Tones Hot Mod V2 Lynch Mob to turn it into a demon from the 9th Circle of Hell.

Price tag with shipping: $249.06
reverb.com

Legendary Tones Lynch Mod 2018 - Green | Reverb

Standard version. I purchased this for my '97 Marshall 1987x 50 watt and it worked great. Just not for me. Outstanding condition. No issues. Includes 2 12AX7tubes.
reverb.com reverb.com

So now that the essentials were taken care of, figured I'd grab some gear for the floor and splurged on some pedals. Got an Ibanez TS808 for $179.99, a BOSS CE-5 Chorus for $143.99, a BOSS NS-2 Noise Suppressor for $119.99, an MXR 10 Band EQ for $149.99 and a cheapass board to mount this all on for $42.90


Ibanez MIJ TS808 Original Tube Screamer Overdrive | Reverb
reverb.com

Boss CE-5 Chorus Ensemble | Reverb

The CE-5 is the fourth entry in the Chorus Ensemble series, taking that chorus sound that immediately hearkens the pop of the 1980s. Featuring knobs for high and low-pass filters, the pedal allows you to craft your own signature chorus tone.
reverb.com reverb.com
reverb.com

Boss NS-2 Noise Suppressor | Reverb

The Boss NS-2 Noise Suppressor is a must-have for player using high gain or noisy vintage single coils. Shop new & used Boss NS-2 Noise Suppressor pedals on Reverb.com.
reverb.com reverb.com
reverb.com

MXR M108S Ten Band EQ | Reverb

The MXR M108S Ten Band EQ comes with a nuanced frequency spectrum and enough gain to fit any mix with boost to boot.
reverb.com reverb.com
www.ebay.com

Big Size Guitar Effects Pedal Board Pedalboard W/ Sticking Tape Accessories I5M8 | eBay

Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for Big Size Guitar Effects Pedal Board Pedalboard W/ Sticking Tape Accessories I5M8 at the best online prices at eBay! Free shipping for many products!
www.ebay.com
If you're still following along, at this point all I had left in my bag was a mere $59.88. To take some of the pain away due to the robbery the pastel wearing, Miata-driving THIEF committed against me, I went to the gas station down the street and got a 24pk of Coors Light for $21.37 and got good and lit up. Went back online and bought a pair of Brass Knuckles for $29.97. Figured these would come in handy for the next time I saw the pastel man again, as well as a lil insurance policy whenever playing in bars if the owner tries to stiff the wicked band I'm still waiting to call me from the ad I posted!!

Brass Knuckles - Heavy Duty 1/2 Pound Paperweight

Currently Still In-Stock & Shipping Daily: Keep that pesky paperwork together. Constructed of 1/2 lb of solid brass. Heavy enough to tackle the most stubborn paper. Compact size for ease of carry.
www.budk.com www.budk.com

With the $8.52 remaining, I blew it on a 20 Piece McNugget and Large Coke at McDonalds because why the hell not?
 
Sweet rig Mike, that Lynch mod thing is cool beans!

Good evening rockstars! How are those sweet new rigs sounding?

QE8z.gif
 
So, after a bunch of haggling online via emails, then texts, I finally go to sell my Tele and amp. I met some Chris Stapleton wannabe in a pick 'em up twuck in a bar parking lot. He looked over everything and handed me five grand. Total bloody chump. As I was helping him lift the stuff into his twuck (so he wouldn't tear his girly jeans), I noticed a big bag of weed in the door pouch. So, I nicked it. After helping him load the gear, I asked him if he wanted to buy any weed. He said "sure, what do you have?" "This bag of really good stuff, I'll take $250 for it." He paid me for it, and went on his way.

Stopped at the pub on my way home to buy some lunch and a couple of beers while thinking what I should get next. Thanks chumpy! I got a steak instead of Mac 'n Cheese.


Because I have a soft spot for SGs, I had to grab one of these. A Viking needs to slay others with a proper axe, and an SG is most Axe-like.

2022 Gibson SG Standard '61 with Maestro Vibrola 2019 - Present - Vintage Cherry | Reverb


If you're going to play an SG, and slay with it, you need a Marshall. None of that modern crap will fit the bill, you need the real deal. Heat up some tubes, and burn those speakers. Have to go with a '70s JMP for the right Toanz!

Marshall JMP Master Volume 50watt 2x12 1977 Original | Reverb

Then, I figured I needed a few good pedals. My first choice would be a good wah, and then build everything around that. My first choice is always a good Cry Baby. I'm not really ever going to use the other stuff except for color, so the guitar, amp, and wah are most important.

Thomas Organ Cry Baby Model 95 1970s - Black | Reverb


Then, I would need to go for a Jimi Fuzz Face. Build those tones from the ground up, and make the colors count.

Dunlop JHF1 Jimi Hendrix Signature Fuzz Face 2007 - Present - Blue | Reverb


Then, I need a good overdrive. The cleaner the better, because I need to hit the front end of that JMP really, really hard.

JHS Morning Glory V4 Transparent Overdrive Guitar Pedal - Open Box | Reverb


Then to color the sounds, have to go with an old stand by, and get a DD-3. Ain't wonderful, but they are cheap.

Boss DD-3 Digital Delay 1986 - 1990 - White | Reverb


And the because digital delays can be somewhat sterile, I need to also have a tape delay of some sorts. This seems to work.


Catalinbread Belle Epoch EP3 Tape Echo Emulation | Reverb


That should put me well under $4400, so I have plenty of money to spend on strings, picks, cables, a strap, and a decent cooler for the tour bus to fill with beer and tequila. And, I should still have plenty of money left over for prophylactics, aspirin, and vitamins C and E.
 
SG John said:
So, after a bunch of haggling online via emails, then texts, I finally go to sell my Tele and amp. I met some Chris Stapleton wannabe in a pick 'em up twuck in a bar parking lot. He looked over everything and handed me five grand. Total bloody chump. As I was helping him lift the stuff into his twuck (so he wouldn't tear his girly jeans), I noticed a big bag of weed in the door pouch. So, I nicked it. After helping him load the gear, I asked him if he wanted to buy any weed. He said "sure, what do you have?" "This bag of really good stuff, I'll take $250 for it." He paid me for it, and went on his way.

Stopped at the pub on my way home to buy some lunch and a couple of beers while thinking what I should get next. Thanks chumpy! I got a steak instead of Mac 'n Cheese.


Because I have a soft spot for SGs, I had to grab one of these. A Viking needs to slay others with a proper axe, and an SG is most Axe-like.

2022 Gibson SG Standard '61 with Maestro Vibrola 2019 - Present - Vintage Cherry | Reverb


If you're going to play an SG, and slay with it, you need a Marshall. None of that modern crap will fit the bill, you need the real deal. Heat up some tubes, and burn those speakers. Have to go with a '70s JMP for the right Toanz!

Marshall JMP Master Volume 50watt 2x12 1977 Original | Reverb

Then, I figured I needed a few good pedals. My first choice would be a good wah, and then build everything around that. My first choice is always a good Cry Baby. I'm not really ever going to use the other stuff except for color, so the guitar, amp, and wah are most important.

Thomas Organ Cry Baby Model 95 1970s - Black | Reverb


Then, I would need to go for a Jimi Fuzz Face. Build those tones from the ground up, and make the colors count.

Dunlop JHF1 Jimi Hendrix Signature Fuzz Face 2007 - Present - Blue | Reverb


Then, I need a good overdrive. The cleaner the better, because I need to hit the front end of that JMP really, really hard.

JHS Morning Glory V4 Transparent Overdrive Guitar Pedal - Open Box | Reverb


Then to color the sounds, have to go with an old stand by, and get a DD-3. Ain't wonderful, but they are cheap.

Boss DD-3 Digital Delay 1986 - 1990 - White | Reverb


And the because digital delays can be somewhat sterile, I need to also have a tape delay of some sorts. This seems to work.


Catalinbread Belle Epoch EP3 Tape Echo Emulation | Reverb


That should put me well under $4400, so I have plenty of money to spend on strings, picks, cables, a strap, and a decent cooler for the tour bus to fill with beer and tequila. And, I should still have plenty of money left over for prophylactics, aspirin, and vitamins C and E.
Click to expand...
Ya baby JMP!
 
Inspector #20 said:
Hey, @Don O - You wanna pinch-hit this round???
Click to expand...
Thanks Robert, but I’m gonna be busy for a bit. Now that we had 2 good days of rain and some of the snow has melted, I need to go over to our other place which I haven’t been to since before the blizzard. Here’s a pic a neighbor sent a few days ago. Those are gas company guys digging out the gas meter. The road has not been plowed and look at that snow on the roof!

55A6FF49-177A-4D18-A5F6-328F655C5134.jpeg
 
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