So, it had been raining a lot the past few days and I needed to score some equipment to stay in this competition. Brad was being a dick (as usual) and assigned me some penalties because I didn't follow the rules!!! LOL!!! No

Sherlock!!! F**k the rules, Man!!!
I had been saving up as much dough as I could from my session job, plus what I make teaching at the music academy and whatever I can hustle gigging nights. I sold a couple of guitars I wasn't using any longer, (my Jackson Adrian Smith and my PurpleBurst Schetcer C1FR Hellraiser, so I had a little over $4,000 to spend, $4,016.00 to be exact.
First and foremost, there is NO OTHER TRUE ROCK-N-ROLL GUITAR other than a Les Paul. I knew I was gonna have to shell out some serious dough to make this one happen, but I also knew I didn't want to gig in the

holes that Brad books us in with a real Gibson, so I needed to figure out a way to go heavy on the MoJo and not have to risk a 'Holy Grail' Gibson in the Elk's Lodge, retirement homes and masonic temple gigs that Brad likes to book.
I'm an old-skool metalhead. I need some gear that will put me out front with the local thug-rocker crowds at the biker dives, like the nearby Screamin' Chicken Saloon (ya, it's a real place, I've played many shows there.)
Seriously. It's the kind of place that would make some of you piss your pants. We once had a chic come up on stage and start "going down" on one of the microphones (true story). it's "that" kind of venue. (I actually put the stars on this photo in paint, but this is a common sight there)
Like most of you clown punchers (extra mojo for whoever "gets" that one) I started shopping on Reverb. I found a guy selling a Epiphone Ace Frehley that was signed by Ace and he had pics with Ace to boot. Problem was, he lived in New Jersey. Luckily, my stepson is a long-haul trucker and he offered to make the deal for me and bring the guitar back to Cali. That axe set me back $2,800.00
The fat, punchy tone of a les Paul just can't be beat. It's a classic rock-n-roll weapon. Don't be a pu**y. Randy Roads, Jimmy Page and Zakk Wylde play them for a reason...but, ya, go ahead and be a Tom Delonge. Might as well pull everything but the first 5 frets, because that's all you'll need to play Stink-180-Phew covers, you f**kin' little bitches.
Up for sale is an Ace Frehley Les Paul Custom Bubakon Outfit #104 of 1000. Guitar is in excellent condition. Never out to gigs and mostly for show. Case in almost new condition. It comes with the portfolio with certificate and a picture of Ace (I got signed at a meet and greet), as well as the r...
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Next, I needed an amp...a big one. I knew that I didn't have much wad left to blow (other than the one I blew in your sister's belly button last night, like a mother-f**kin Spiderman web slinger) so I needed maximum power, for improved sonic diffusion trajectory, but it needed to give me the most bang for the buck.
I settled on a 200 watt 1980's era Ampeg SVT200T bass head. Simple, Tough and Reliable...Like your Mom after a bottle of Merlot.
Shipped from Colorado it was only $329.00.
These amps are tough. You can beat them and bang them around like an ugly stepsister and they come back for more, just like a horny stepmom on payday.
When you are playing the

dives that Brad books for us, you need reliability over everything else, and these Ampeg's deliver.
Looking to downsize my recording setup and parting ways with this; it's too heavy and I don't have the room for it. 350 watts of solid state muscle. One problem - There is mains hum when the amp is turned on, which doesn't go away when the ground switch is active. I don't know how to fix that iss...
reverb.com
Next, I needed a cabinet. I had long used 8x10 Ampegs. My first amp was a Traynor YBA-1A and a Ampeg 8x10, so I started looking and found one in Palm Desert, California, only an hour away from me. I know a friend with a pickup and he was willing to haul it for me for a single hit of black tar.
A hit is about $25.00 in San Bernardino around 5th and Arrowhead.
The Ampeg cabinet was solid and I got it for $425.00.
What else can I say??? 8x10 clarity and projection, plus it can handle all the power the amp can push through it. Solid,

, Bro.
Ampeg is synonymous with bass tone. Its flagship, the SVT-810E, is a monolithic bass cabinet stacked with eight 10-inch speakers pushing 2x400 watts of bass frequencies. Known affectionality as “The Fridge” for its vertical (and heavy) design, the SVT-810E is the type of cab that will stand up to...
reverb.com
Next, I needed a good chorus pedal. I found a great Zakk Wylde chorus in Menifee, California, only 30 minutes away and just around the corner from
@Mitch Pearrow SJMP's pad, so for $120.00, it was too good to pass up. Lot's of color and flexibility. You can't go wrong with these pedals for the price.
MXR ZW-38 Black Label Chorus New & Used on Reverb.com
reverb.com
Next up, I needed an overdrive.
I found a 1998 Ibanez Super Turbo Tube Screamer (TS9DX) in Arizona that had Neutrik Jacks and the desirable Wampler '316' and 'Hot Gain' mods already built in. Price was only $140.00 with free shipping.
Simple, reliable and plenty of tone shaping options. There's no better pedal. Period.
"Building on the shoulders of the legendary Tubescreamer, the TS9DX incorporates the same circuitry as the original with an additional Mode knob for toggling between TS9, Turbo, Hot, and + settings. The TS9DX brings the same warm tube-like overdrive to the table as its predecessors with expansion...
reverb.com
Total chedda' shelled out thus far: $3,409.00
Then my cell phone rings. F**k...It's Brad and he's bitchin as usual. Some kinda

about he's kicking me out of the competition if I don't spend some money at his Reverb store.
Ok, Ok, Ok, Ok....what a dick....
I found a really nice strap. It's rumored to have belonged to "The Cowboy" himself (something about a prop used in Brokeback Mountain???)and Brad wants $492.01 for it.
"The Gunfighter" is an original Well-Hung design 1/2 six-string holster, 1/2 wild west guitar sling. Combined together equals a 100% badass and highly-functional and art piece. Stage-ready requiring minimal care, it will age beautifully and inspire you and others around you for decades to come.&...
reverb.com
I try to offer him $400.00 even and he says he has "whores to pay," plus he needs a deposit for the upcoming schlong enlargement surgery, so he ain't budging. I asked for free shipping and he said 'F**k You!! I'll ruin you on TTR, Bitch!!!"
Ok, Ok, another $18.17 for shipping and I am up to $3,919.24 which gives me $96.76 left to spend.
So, I got $96.76 available for anyone who needs it.
Good Luck, Mortals....