Challenge #4 : Riffin Out At Stankwater Music!!!
So I FINALLY made it to this great new music store I heard so much about called Stankwater. The place looks REALLY familiar and for some reason, dare I say it: I felt "at home"?!?! Least these guys let me in the door unlike the other places around here that kicked me out for sniffing the drum stools.....
Anyways! They had all these really affordable prices all over the gear and wrote it big enough for my Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys' eyes to see. I spotted this SWEET Sunburst G&L Legacy that the young, long haired Dickie's shirt wearing salesman named Crunchy showed me. He said it's just as good as a Squier and well, $hit! I KNEW I was in the big leagues! Plus, they had this kickass 15w Squier Champ to play. I wanna save up my quarters and get one of those Marshalls I stood in front of, but maybe one day right?!?
I wanted to charm these guys and really shine them on, so what did I do? Hit 'em with the Lord's riff...Jon Lord that is! Thats right..no penny ante nonsense here, pal: SMOKE ON THE WATER! I played a few tasty licks and I could tell by their scoured faces, they knew there was a new sheriff in town. Then I figured hey these guys might not have ever heard Grunge, ya know? So what did I do next? Oh yeah, just the greatest guitarist who ever lived: KURT COBAIN!! Busted that riff that only like a handful of people ever could play, known as "Smells Like Teen Spirit" for those uninformed.
By this time they were pacing the store and I knew it was just the rhythm hitting these kids. Decided to SHREDDDDDD the pick and roar into the super easy Randy Rhodes' lick, Crazy Train. I thought, "Look at these poor fools...they haven't saw greatness like this since Lil Wayne!!" So, to bring things back to level I played this song all the guys I know who married their cousins: Sweet Home Alabama.
At this point, the manager came over and began yelling at poor Crunchy The Salesman. I think he said that Squier Champ was too loud, so you know me? I accommodate! Saw this sweet Takamine acoustic and someone left a Capo on it. So what do we do folks? Oh yeah, just play the greatest band to come out of England who CLEARLY The Beatles just straight up ripped off: OASIS!!!!. Thought I would woo any of the ladies inside and played that soulful, moistmaker: Wonderwall.
I had just a few seconds left before I had to go to traffic court and explain some outstanding tickets ( you know, people around here are just jealous that my wicked vintage 76 Ford Pinto has its own smoke show coming out of the tailpipe. Sad, man) . Anyways, back to the point! I had a few seconds left and I noticed at this time, Chongo the Security Guard came over and I could just tell..just KNEW this guy was a Zeppelin fan! I played the riff....the almighty riff that EVERY guitar store loves...the one and only: Stairway to Heaven!
I had to hurry up and turn off the camera because that prick Manager and Chongo came rushing over. After the tape on my super cool RCA Camcorder stopped, the Manager ripped the guitar out of my hands man! I mean who does this?!? So petty ....
Anyways, here you folks go. Feast your eyes and your earballs on THIS!!!!
1. Smoked On The Bong Water
2. Smells Like Tween Shame
3. Feeble Train
4. Sweet Trailer Mississippi
5. Wonder Why'all These Songs Suck?!?
6. Escalator to the Crawlspace