What Does It All Mean, Man???

Inspector #20

Inspector #20

Ambassador of Tone
Fallen Star
Country flag
My trip to the desert, to film scenes for a video with members of 'Outfall' on January 22, really changed me.

While work was done on the video project, we spent a lot of time exploring and sighseeing, even crossing the plains east of Atloia, in a Rubicon, culminating in a visit to The Husky Monument at night.

Following my return, i bought a dirt bike and began a series of 200+ mile rides through the open desert.

For me, this was a return to the motorcycle hobby and not a brand new thing.

A few weeks later, i amicably resigned from the band 'Fire Control,' that i had started with the vocalist over 2 years ago and accepted an offer to join Soloman Grundy.

About the same time, my PC crashed and i lost ALL of my music - finished and unfinished originals and covers - and this really took the wind out of my sails so to speak.

So, now i am attached to only two bands - one is a studio/recording only band (Outfall) and the currently unnamed 80's/90's/Dance project in which we all sing and play more than one instrument.

What's funny - or ironic in some ways - is that all i want to do these days is ride motorcycles. I find myself - for the first time in my life - really having to force myself to devote time to practice.

Problem is, motorcycle riding doesn't earn me any money and playing music does.

When i go to a rehearsal now, i am always happy to see bandmates and to play, despite my initial, internal conflict over wanting to spend the day riding out through the desert.

Anybody think I'm totally insane??? Or, is this a normal thing????
 
Robert Herndon said:
Anybody think I'm totally insane???
Click to expand...
this was in question??

seems normal to me-- guitar/music has ebbed and flowed -- other "hobbies" -- scuba diving and boats and -- various "entertainments" have come and gone-- at the TIME they were SINGULAR and almost all consuming----

Motorcycling -- music-- skiing -- ice AND EVEN roller skating-(in Jr High -- that was how you met girls ROLLER SKATING!!!) -diving - boating --have all ebbed and flowed

Diving for one was an addiction (nothing was as good as being on a reef watching the fishes) --- but -- it passed-- I still would like to go again-- but the NEED to HAVE TO BE UNDERWATER every off day is passed -- having an ear drum issue and a reduction in the DEPTH I can dive comfortably sorta put a quick end to that ----now I want to play every day

for 3 seasons in Ohio snow skiing was ALLLLLLL I wanted to do---then water sking was "in" --- several years Surfing was my "jam" -- skateboarding had a run -- (several broken bones got the skateboard traded off ---- for a no name solid body guitar lol---

it happens-- focus changes-- we cant do the SAME thing forever -- but we can revisit old "loves" if you will from time to time-- and if you LEARNED something from each obsession--- well all the better
 
eSGEe said:
this was in question??

seems normal to me-- guitar/music has ebbed and flowed -- other "hobbies" -- scuba diving and boats and -- various "entertainments" have come and gone-- at the TIME they were SINGULAR and almost all consuming----

Motorcycling -- music-- skiing -- ice AND EVEN roller skating-(in Jr High -- that was how you met girls ROLLER SKATING!!!) -diving - boating --have all ebbed and flowed

Diving for one was an addiction (nothing was as good as being on a reef watching the fishes) --- but -- it passed-- I still would like to go again-- but the NEED to HAVE TO BE UNDERWATER every off day is passed -- having an ear drum issue and a reduction in the DEPTH I can dive comfortably sorta put a quick end to that ----now I want to play every day

for 3 seasons in Ohio snow skiing was ALLLLLLL I wanted to do---then water sking was "in" --- several years Surfing was my "jam" -- skateboarding had a run -- (several broken bones got the skateboard traded off ---- for a no name solid body guitar lol---

it happens-- focus changes-- we cant do the SAME thing forever -- but we can revisit old "loves" if you will from time to time-- and if you LEARNED something from each obsession--- well all the better
Click to expand...

This is the first time in 38 years my desire to play has ebbed. It might have been difficult to play, due to time constraints, but the desire was always there...
 
My other answer is that it does not mean anything. Life is not innately imbibed with meaning. We are required to create meaning. Intrinsically, life is a ride to nowhere.

next chapter - is there really time at all? is there a begining and an end? See the theory of special relativity and the concept of the block universe for a trip to new ideas
 
RVA said:
My other answer is that it does not mean anything. Life is not innately imbibed with meaning. We are required to create meaning. Intrinsically, life is a ride to nowhere.

next chapter - is there really time at all? is there a begining and an end? See the theory of special relativity and the concept of the block universe for a trip to new ideas
Click to expand...

So unsettling for someone like me who seeks meaning in everything.....
 
  • Like
Reactions: RVA
Robert Herndon said:
So unsettling for someone like me who seeks meaning in everything.....
Click to expand...
It does not mean that there isn't. It only means that it is there because you have ascribed that meaning to it. "one man's trash is another man's treasure", "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", "Coke over Pepsi" etc., etc. It is real because it is real to you "I think, therefore I am"

The good part is that you have the power to change this "meaning" at any time "I used to love, him/her/it", etc
 
RVA said:
It does not mean that there isn't. It only means that it is there because you have ascribed that meaning to it. "one man's trash is another man's treasure", "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", "Coke over Pepsi" etc., etc. It is real because it is real to you "I think, therefore I am"

The good part is that you have the power to change this "meaning" at any time "I used to love, him/her/it", etc
Click to expand...

That's heavy, Man....

I went with my wife ladt night to a birthday party fir one of her co-workers. I was terrified. As people would come up and talk to me, my mind was spinning, "say something a normal person would say."

I was so exhausted at the end of the night, i don't even remember going to bed...only waking up - as always - at 3:33am............
 
Robert Herndon said:
That's heavy, Man....

I went with my wife ladt night to a birthday party fir one of her co-workers. I was terrified. As people would come up and talk to me, my mind was spinning, "say something a normal person would say."

I was so exhausted at the end of the night, i don't even remember going to bed...only waking up - as always - at 3:33am............
Click to expand...
Normal? If there was such a thing, would you really want to be it? Acceptance is great, in certain contexts - most people need others in some regard. But dedication to normalcy and acceptance can soon evicerate any conception you ever had of "you". I try to identify when I am embarrassed or feel awkward, and why. Then I try to obliterate the cause of that feeling. Usually it is because I am embarrassed about something - so I try to either accept that about myself and leave the shame behind, or change it, whichever makes sense.

Robert, I know you go to this place once in a while, but you are a stellar individual. The only person who seems to call it in to doubt occasionally is you. And I get that, because I have been there. Do your best to take a step back though. Look at the big picture. All that you have been through these past few years - love, loss, reinventing yourself in positive ways a bunch of times. If you have any measure of objectivity, you will not be able to help realizing what everyone else does - you are a fine human, Sir
 
Last edited:
Its normal...just took a week off to FL...came back to a tele & back to my roots in music....been letting gear sites move me in music,,not cool..

I have everything that matters in life...my family....my faith...it will soon show, what i can do as a man..from my heart thru the convictions & principles i hold on to...it will come out in the next batch of music & at the shows ....i tend to let what others think rule at times..which is fine for communication & peace..but in this hostile world...what it paints the pic as happy..is nothing i want..not the money..the values...

happiness..cant come from others..it must come from within...its precious to be free inside...it's where an artist will be inspired...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top