Golly, y’all are a bunch of party poopers!
My team ( at least the Bandwagon I jumped on) won!
Yay!
Allow me to explain the Bandwagon Fan strategy.
Essentially, through the regular season, I watch football much the same way I would watch a nature show - Will the lion catch the zebra, or will it get away? You get the idea.
I don’t understand the finer details of football. Like, I don’t know what it means when someone is “in the shotgun”, but I know how the scoring and gameplay works. So, I do understand enough to follow a game and pretend to know what I’m talking about at work.
However, when it comes to the Super Bowl, I do want to root for a team, so I pick three teams toward the beginning of the playoffs. However, at no time and under no circumstances do I use actual data, such as team standings, player stats, or other such salient pieces of information. Such analytics are not allowed for the Bandwagon Fan. Who‘s got time for that stuff anyway?
I pick teams based on whether I like their helmet logos, whether I like their uniforms, do I have any home town loyalties, do I think a player has a cool-sounding name - that sort of thing.
This year, none of my three picks made it through the playoffs. So, I had to pick a new Bandwagon to jump on at the last minute. By “last minute”, I mean two weeks before the Super Bowl.
So, I decided I was going to jump on the Kansas City Chiefs bandwagon. I selected them for two reasons:
1. I think their helmet logos looked cooler than the 49ers.
2. The fact that Kansas City isn’t even located in Kansas, but is located in Missouri, seems like such a crazy thing that it’s bound to work!
I ensured my team would win by not actually watching the full game. I went to bed halfway through the second quarter. While it is not forbidden, the Bandwagon Fan is discouraged from watching the whole game. You just want to pick a team. You can read up on highlights the next day so you can discuss the game at work.
So, I get to brag that my team won!
Next year, I’ll pick a new Bandwagon to jump on.
Now....this strategy should not be attempted for hockey or baseball. If you do, your face will melt like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
. I rode my dirtbike every day until I found the guitar. Then I did that instead.
