Battling Alcoholism...

BlackSG91 said:
Well it's been a while since I've been on this forum since I moved to a new place and haven't had a real chance to set up my computer. I'm using the library computer for now. I've been battling alcoholism since my wife and mother passed away over two years ago. I've quit before back in mid 2015 after drinking massive amounts of over-proof rum. I was hearing voices and actually seeing demonic entities in my house at the time and it was scary for sure. I guess the alcohol withdrawal caused an open cap in my soul allowing these entities to mess with my mind.

This past early September I was on a drinking binge. I drank so much one day that my roommate called the paramedics and spent overnight at the hospital. Then a couple of days later on a Friday I drank nearly 120 ounces of 80 proof rum and I was a complete wreck. That was enough alcohol to nearly kill me. My roommate called the ambulance again and I spent almost 6 days in the hospital.

It was like living hell from the alcohol withdrawal while I was in the hospital. I had the shakes real bad & I couldn't hardly sleep within 4 days and my blood pressure and heart rate were drastically very high. I spent about two to 3 days in emergency. The first day they didn't give me any medication to help with my high anxiety or any food because they thought I would go into a coma. I finally received some medication (Valium) through an intervenes. By the 2nd or 3rd day I received a cardio electric shock to stabilize my heart beat which was irregular at the the time. They gave me an anaesthetic to put me out during the cardio process.

I finally got moved to an area where I was able to get full meals and my appetite came back because I wasn't hardly eating while I was drinking. I had a hard time walking while going to the washroom. My legs felt numb due to the excessive drinking. I felt like an old man. They gave me various medications and vitamins to improve my health. When I finally got discharged I was fairly a bit better but not 100%. It was a wake-up call for me to stop drinking. It was one of the most awful moments in my life that I don't want to go through again.

This Friday will mark 4 weeks since I had a drop of alcohol. I'm eating more regularly now and starting to feel better & sleep better. I'm back on my medications for anxiety and depression and I'm also taking blood thinners so I don't get any blood clots which can cause complications. If it wasn't for my roommate calling the ambulance I would probably be dead by now. I'm keeping on the path of abstaining from alcohol. Withdrawal is a really hard experience I went through. If anyone out there has any stories to share about troubles with alcohol or any other drug, please share. I'm just glad to be alive and doing fairly well at the moment. I don't want to go back to my old lifestyle.


;>)/
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Black, I'm joining you on this adventure into a new life. Today marks two complete days of sobriety for me.
Stopped to get gas coming home, and I went in and bought myself a Monster beverage. That was a first!
I've had difficulty falling asleep, since I was so used to the wine doing the job. I'm feeling proud that
I've made it this far, yet angry at myself for letting the drinking go on for so long.
 
Goldmember said:
Black, I'm joining you on this adventure into a new life. Today marks two complete days of sobriety for me.
Stopped to get gas coming home, and I went in and bought myself a Monster beverage. That was a first!
I've had difficulty falling asleep, since I was so used to the wine doing the job. I'm feeling proud that
I've made it this far, yet angry at myself for letting the drinking go on for so long.
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Good for you!

Regrets are useless at this point. Don’t let yourself be angry at...yourself.

You’ve made the right decision.

It’s worth its weight in...goooold.
 
Goldmember said:
Black, I'm joining you on this adventure into a new life. Today marks two complete days of sobriety for me.
Stopped to get gas coming home, and I went in and bought myself a Monster beverage. That was a first!
I've had difficulty falling asleep, since I was so used to the wine doing the job. I'm feeling proud that
I've made it this far, yet angry at myself for letting the drinking go on for so long.
Click to expand...

Hey congratulations me esteemed friend...I didn't know you had a drinking problem? I'm glad you recognized it. I drank all kinds of alcohol. Red wine was one of my favourites. Wine is like the marijuana of booze while schnapps is the crack-cocaine of alcohol.:) Keep it up so you can live the golden years of life.;)


;>)/
 
To all my brothers and sisters who have struggled with alcohol or other destructive substances and have worked their way to quitting and seeking to win the battle, may you have the strength to pull through and to emerge victorious and healthy for doing so.

Goldie, I wish you all the best. BlackSG will tell you how much I pull for him and have been super glad for the new man he has become. I am so glad he has faced possible death and is now able to still be here as our brother.
GOLD POWER. You too are our Brother.
 
Thanks, Black, and Thanks, Everyone, for the kind words. It took almost hitting rock bottom in my marriage last week, and wanting to save it.
Everything's great when everyone's happy, but when problems occur, I'm sometimes unable to control my feelings and reactions while
drinking. I thought I did well managing a bottle of wine a night for five years now, but I never could notice the large amount of wasted
money and "down time" enjoying the buzz...until now. I don't want to let me wife and kids down. Since it was only in the evenings and
on weekends, I thought I didn't meet the criteria as an alcoholic. I was wrong.

Every day is another step. I started a collection jar in the kitchen, and each day, I place a paper into the jar with $6 written on it. That's
a very conservative number, as I sometimes spent twice that, just to have a back up. I'm only at $12, but I should have enough in a month
or two to book a nice hotel at the beach for a weekend trip with the family, something I have not done in a long while.

Thanks to Black for posting this thread. It's played a big part in motivating me.
 
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YOU QUITTERS! ;) AND DAMN GOOD ON YA!!!

Sounds like a plan with 6.00 paper-- that ads up fast at the end of a month eh?!?! Ive bought good guitars for less!!! way less!!!

Rock on Guys -- and keep us posted on the progresses ---
 
chilipeppermaniac said:
To all my brothers and sisters who have struggled with alcohol or other destructive substances and have worked their way to quitting and seeking to win the battle, may you have the strength to pull through and to emerge victorious and healthy for doing so.

Goldie, I wish you all the best. BlackSG will tell you how much I pull for him and have been super glad for the new man he has become. I am so glad he has faced possible death and is now able to still be here as our brother.
GOLD POWER. You too are our Brother.
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Chili,

You are a wonderful friend. I’m glad to have known and met you.

I’m sure your encouragement is valued by our brothers in need!
 
Goldmember said:
Thanks, Black, and Thanks, Everyone, for the kind words. It took almost hitting rock bottom in my marriage last week, and wanting to save it.
Everything's great when everyone's happy, but when problems occur, I'm sometimes unable to control my feelings and reactions while
drinking. I thought I did well managing a bottle of wine a night for five years now, but I never could notice the large amount of wasted
money and "down time" enjoying the buzz...until now. I don't want to let me wife and kids down. Since it was only in the evenings and
on weekends, I thought I didn't meet the criteria as an alcoholic. I was wrong.

Every day is another step. I started a collection jar in the kitchen, and each day, I place a paper into the jar with $6 written on it. That's
a very conservative number, as I sometimes spent twice that, just to have a back up. I'm only at $12, but I should have enough in a month
or two to book a nice hotel at the beach for a weekend trip with the family, something I have not done in a long while.

Thanks to Black for posting this thread. It's played a big part in motivating me.
Click to expand...

Be sure to tell your wife that all these nut-cases you talk to on the inter-webs support you AND her in this new path.

Stay strong.
 
Goldmember , I am very happy for you to have the courage to see you have a problem. That is a huge step! Keep up the good work! I know you can beat this thing. Everyone here is wishing the best for you!!!
 
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And Blackie you know how I feel about the great strides which you have made. Continue to look straight ahead and take one day at a time. I am so happy for you getting into a good band and have fun!!!! Always remember keep strong the temptation is always around, especially when being around where there are those who are consuming the beverage. Continue to stay on that straight and narrow path my friend.:)(y)
 
chilipeppermaniac said:
Thanks smitty. You are one fine husband, dad and friend as well. Having met Hack and Vox and MR Ferengi, I survived and think they are some cool dudes too. We are really blessed to have such nice brothers and sisters joined from the world over to fellowship with one another.
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Backatcha Chili

its a great group of supportive FRIENDS we have here -- the only BAD part is the sometimes THOUSANDS of miles that separate us :(

Keep on the good leg guys
 
Goldmember said:
Thanks, Black, and Thanks, Everyone, for the kind words. It took almost hitting rock bottom in my marriage last week, and wanting to save it.
Everything's great when everyone's happy, but when problems occur, I'm sometimes unable to control my feelings and reactions while
drinking. I thought I did well managing a bottle of wine a night for five years now, but I never could notice the large amount of wasted
money and "down time" enjoying the buzz...until now. I don't want to let me wife and kids down. Since it was only in the evenings and
on weekends, I thought I didn't meet the criteria as an alcoholic. I was wrong.

Every day is another step. I started a collection jar in the kitchen, and each day, I place a paper into the jar with $6 written on it. That's
a very conservative number, as I sometimes spent twice that, just to have a back up. I'm only at $12, but I should have enough in a month
or two to book a nice hotel at the beach for a weekend trip with the family, something I have not done in a long while.

Thanks to Black for posting this thread. It's played a big part in motivating me.
Click to expand...

Well that's quite the story! Thanks for sharing & I read it completely. I sure can relate. So you had a bottle of wine every evening for 5 years? That's quite a run. I assume you had a juicy steak dinner smothered in sautéed mushrooms with your wine? :) Those were my good days as an alcoholic drinking maybe a magnum (1.5 L) of red wine with steak or something real delicious... the food helped. I really enjoyed wine buzzes.

The problem started bad when I was drinking the hard stuff like over proof rum. One of my favourites was Kraken black rum @ 94 proof (47% alc./vol.) I started on 26 oz. bottles then I worked my way up to 40 ounces a day. I wasn't really eating all that well at times. I would drink about 4 to 5 ounces and then pass out...wake up and drink more. I literally was dying...killing myself slowly. I ended up in the hospital many times. I saw entities in my house and heard voices. It was scary...I was on a downward spiral.

I'm glad those days are over. I hate to think of all the money I spent on alcohol. An insane amount. It was a dark period n my life and alcohol sure has taken it's fair share out of me. It's like Steve Earl (Musician) once said..."Once you become a pickle you can't go back to being a cucumber."


;>)/
 
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OP im glad you are still here. I know how you feel.

i was a cell dependent alcoholic, but i was polysubstance. if it got me high id try it.

its been 4 years for me t totally sober and clean. no drugs, no nothing, no weed, no beer. if its mind altering i wont touch it.

my bank account is a lot bigger and my health is perfect.

i no longer have to feel high, or "different" to enjoy life.
 
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